Starting college, you are more than likely going to have to stay on campus in a dorm with a roommate. At first this idea sounds kind of fun. If you are going into this situation knowing your roommate, what could be better right? Wrong. Everyone warns you for a reason, not to room with close friends from home. I learned this the hard way, but because of my mistake, I am here to give you advice on how to avoid the odd tension of friendship rooming.
COMMUNICATION IS KEY
https://www.elitedaily.com/p/how-to-set-boundaries-with-your-roommate-in-a-totally-natural-way-according-to-experts-8708358
Going into this experience I thought that everyone was going to be wrong and that I was going to be just fine with my roommate. For the most part, I was right. We had never been more comfortable in a situation than this and we were so thankful that we didn't have to tiptoe around people we didn't know. As time went on, new things began to happen that involved boys and privacy. With this happening, I should have opened my mouth and let her know how I felt, but instead I didn't say how I really felt and that was where it began to go downhill. Take from my experience and voice how you feel if you are uncomfortable in a situation or don't feel good about it. It could be the difference between saving a friendship or ending one.
Set Boundaries
This kind of goes along with the first tip. Make sure that when you both begin rooming together, that you both set realistic boundaries. In my situation, we never thought that we would be having any guys over, just because we never really thought we would meet someone that quick. Well we were wrong and never got around to talk about boundaries when it came to having guys in the room. If this ever happens to you as well, make sure to set a limit for how much time you can really take with two people in the opposite bed to you without it getting uncomfortable. Again, I never said anything and wound up with this guy in my room every single day of the week for no less than 8 hours each day. Take my advice because I would have wanted this before I came here.
Do NOT Get Defensive
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-cycles-fear-cycles/201805/why-do-people-get-so-defensive
This tip is coming from receiving defensive behavior. If your roommate is giving subtle hints about something that they are not enjoying, ask them about it. If they respond with an answer you most likely will not want to hear, do not get defensive. You asked about how they were feeling and they told you, what more would you expect. Getting defensive almost always leads to an argument, so take it slow. Ask about what you could do in order to change how they are feeling. More than likely, it will be a simple compromise and you can both go with your days fight free.
