18. I would love if he would look good in beanies. That’s superficial, and it's gotten both my best friend and I in trouble in the past, but I’m making it anyway. Glasses would be also be nice. Not a necessity – and not as much as beanies, but still nice.
17. Good music taste is a must. And good movie taste. We can’t spent countless hours partaking in // discussing what he has no taste in. On another note -- half of what I say comes from some song or film. It's a game to see who will notice -- including myself. I want him in on that game.
16. He needs to have some sort of plan for his life. He can’t be wandering with no direction. He has to know that even though he doesn’t have all the answers or all the keys – there are doors that were made for him to open and questions that he was made to figure out.
15. With that in mind, he has to respect and believe in my direction. Even if that changes. Even if I’m doubting. He has to stand by me. Talk to me. Pray with me.
14. If something is important to me, it should be important to him. And vice versa. If this thing is going to work, he should see the value in what I see the value in. Or at least appreciate the fact that I appreciate it. He might not love it the way I do – but he should love that I love it.
13. He needs to love people. He needs to love the world around him. He needs to believe in the world around him. I love this world, I love the people, and I have a great desire to be a part of something bigger than myself. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t feel the same, who doesn't wake up every morning ready to do more.
12. He has to be able to deal with me. He has to know that I am a mess. I am going to have bad days where I won’t even be able to get out of bed. He has to know that he can't fix me, he can't just make me happy, and it's not his fault. He has to know all of this – but more than that, he has to be able to handle it. Because it’s not always going to be easy.
11. He has to know that love is a choice. It’s a choice to be happy. It’s a choice to make this work. It takes effort. It takes continuously falling in love and continuously finding ways to grow in that love.
10. He has to want to grow. Mentally, spiritually, in relationships with others, with God, with himself, whatever. He cannot be okay with staying the same. He has to be willing – and wanting – to grow.
9. Creativity is a big thing. Adventure. My life is fueled by color – someone black and white all the time just wouldn’t work. It wouldn't be fair to them and it wouldn't be fair to me.
8. He has to believe in something. Whether that be God, or magic, or Leo finally getting that Oscar, there needs to be something inside of his heart that is full of faith.
7. And though I do think it would be incredible to have someone who believes in the exact same way I do, who holds the same exact faith, I know that’s hard. So, in that respect, he should respect what I believe.
6. Because perspective is key. He needs to have an open mind. An ability to hear people out and listen to them without his own bias getting in the way.
5. He should challenge me on my perspectives. Whether it’s in a deep talk about beliefs or why his favorite ice cream flavor is best, he should constantly be challenging me to see things from a different angle.
4. He should frustrate me – and yes, this is different from challenge. He should make me roll my eyes and shake my head and bite back my words. This shouldn’t be flat all the time – we need highs and lows and happiness and anger.
3. But happiness – happiness is key. He should make me happy. He should make me feel something new. He should fill me with a sense of wonder and love and hope.
2. More than any of that – he should inspire me to be a better person. He should make me want to wake up every day and get out of bed and find a way to make the world better. Because he should make my world better, and I his.
1. And I should know that. He should choose me. Day after day after day. He should never leave me with any doubt. He should reassure me if I need it. He should celebrate with me, and praise me, and be proud of me. He should love me. I should have no question that he loves me.
Maybe it's strange to have 18 rights. Maybe it should really be "1 Right and 17 Would-be-Nices." Because when it comes down to it -- No. 1 really is the most important. Doubt and uncertainty ruin relationships from the inside, but love and effort help them to grow.
It's a two-way street -- and I'm expecting that the boy I fall for will have a list of his own Rights. It's okay to have your standards, to be a bit selfish, to know you deserve the best -- it's not OK to settle for the wrongs simply because you're scared you'll never find what's right.
You have time to find it. Don't forget - the timing has to be right too (that's what always gets me in trouble).
You'll find it. And I will too.