2016 could possibly be the year that the world ends. Mass gun violence, England is no longer part of the UK, intense terrorism ... and a reality TV star could possibly be America's next president. For the sake of being humorous (and completely serious), here are 20 people and things who should run for President instead of Donald Trump.
1. Harambe
In June of this year, an innocent gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo lost his life after a child stumbled into his enclosure. The internet erupted in protest, and Twitter (as per usual) came forward to offer a pleothora of memes to honor his memory. Harambe would have been, and would be, a much better president than Donald Trump.
2. Cthulhu
Famous author H.P. Lovecraft, known for his horror stories, brought Cthulhu to life in his story "The Call of Cthulhu," which he published in 1928. Part man, part octopus, and part dragon, Cthulhu is worshiped by cultists within the story. In my humble opinion, he's only a little misunderstood, and would shine if given the chance to prove himself. (Or he could destroy the entire world ... who knows.)
3. A Bean Burrito
Bean burritos are God's gift to the world. With a bean burrito as our president, there would be no war. There would be no hunger. There would be no poverty. There would only be free burritos for all. And Taco Bells would be open 24 hours, seven days a week. That would be beautiful.
4. Voldemort
Throw a fake mustache on him and he's a pretty lovable guy. He wouldn't build a wall, and he wouldn't call women "pigs" or make fun of periods. He could quite possibly, however, attempt to get rid of Muggles in which case it's every man for himself...
5. SpongeBob
Everyone's favorite sea sponge would make a fantastic president. He would fill the White House with his sing-song laugh, the smell of Krabby Patties, and possibly its very jellyfish field. Not to mention the fact that Patrick would make an amazing VP. Could you imagine?
6. The Guy From Ancient Aliens
Granted his meme has come and gone, but his hair and immense faith in extraterrestrial life will live on in our hearts forever. During his presidency, I could see a high tech megaphone placed directly atop the White House, calling out for the Aliens to return to Earth. And if he lost his campaign? It was the aliens.
7. Michael Scott
America would definitely be great again if Michael ran our country the way he ran Dunder Mifflin. The return of "that's what she said" jokes in full force is exactly what our country needs to get back on its feet. Birthday parties for everyone planned by the National Party Planning Committee (NPPC for short) would boost moral. He'd have my vote for sure.
8. Red Forman
Red Forman stole the hearts of our generation with his sarcastic and witty comments. He is us - we are one. His foreign policy would no doubt be air tight, and his domestic policy would include things like the death penalty turning into "shoving a foot up your ass." I'm sure that would help cut down on crime.
9. Seth Rogen
An obvious choice for president, Seth Rogen has stolen our hearts in hilarious movies such as "Neighbors" and "Knocked Up." He's the perfect mix of immature and tasteful, which made his movie "The Interview" walk precariously down the line between in-good-taste and possibly-starting-another-world-war.
10. President Snow
Sure, President Snow is responsible for the death of hundreds of innocent teenagers... and he pitted districts against themselves to destroy unity... and he was simply an all around horrible guy... but, he has presidential experience (unlike Trump), and he's quite the charismatic.
11. A Pug
Look at how cute they are! With their smushed little faces! And their cute little feet! And this one is wearing a Batman onesie! I would definitely vote for a pug in a Batman onesie.
12. Morgan Freeman
If Morgan Freeman can narrate the "March of the Penguins" and play God, he can definitely run the United States of America. That's correlation equalling causation if I ever saw it.
13. Ron Swanson
Ron is everything I want to be: sassy, intelligent, and funny. He's also everything I am: antisocial, hates stupid people, and does whatever he wants anyway. I would definitely be first in line to vote if his name was on the ballot.
14. A Rattata
A Rattata as president would be one of the greatest things to ever happen to America. They're reliable, everywhere, and if you catch enough you can evolve a fairly decent Raticate ... which you can then transfer because you have all the XP you need and the Raticate is basically useless.
15. Kanye West
I'm not saying that I would vote for him if he actually ran for president in 2020, but I'm also not saying that I wouldn't vote for him either.
Donald Trump is not the candidate for me. He's not the candidate for a lot of people. He's a racist misogynist who doesn't understand that there is more to being the president than simply lounging around the Oval Office. It takes thoughtfulness, open mindedness, a care for the American people, and dedication.
