15 'Christmas Vacation' Quotes To Use This Holiday Season
Start writing a post
popular

15 'Christmas Vacation' Quotes To Use This Holiday Season

Hip, hip hooray for Christmas vacation!

318657
15 'Christmas Vacation' Quotes To Use This Holiday Season

It's that time of year: Christmas is here.

Everybody knows there isn't a better time of year. "Hear that sleigh, Santa's on his way: hip, hip hooray for Christmas vacation!" If you were singing that in your head by the third line, then you understand the glory of "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation." Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo blessed us with this film nearly 30 years ago, and with a screenplay by John Hughes, the film is just as funny today. Here are 15 quotes from "Christmas Vacation" that you should be using this holiday season.

1. “Hallelujah! Holy sh*t! Where's the Tylenol?"

When to use it: the holiday season can be stressful, but the key to staying cheery is to fake it until you make it. Use this quote when you need some extra help faking it.

2. “We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye."

When to use it: when your family is killing your Christmas vibes.

3. Todd: "Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?"

Clark: "Bend over and I'll show you."

When to use it: when family asks you about what you're going to do with your future, how college is going, or if you have a significant other yet.

Or when your neighbor, Todd, is #theworst.

4. “She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don't know."

When to use it: any time your family comments on your appearance.

5. “Worse? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell."

When to use it: when it's finals week, and you're watching Christmas movies instead of studying.

6. “Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah."

When to use it: when professors give you 20 million assignments right before break.

7. “Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"

When to use it: when your uncle starts talking about how Donald Trump should be president at your family's Christmas dinner.

8. “I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery."

When to use it: when your parents won't let you open presents at 6 a.m. because you're an adult now.

9. Ellen: "He's an old man. This may be his last Christmas."

Clark: "If he keeps it up, it will be his last Christmas."

When to use it: when your racist grandpa is being extra racist.

10. “Lotta sap in here! Mmmm... Looks great! Little full, lotta sap."

When to use it: when you regret buying a real Christmas tree, but you'll never tell your significant other they were right and you should have gone with a fake one from Lowe's.

11. “Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so."

When to use it: when you need to deflect because a co-worker asked you to cover their Christmas Eve shift.

12. Audrey: "He worked really hard, Grandma."

Art: "So do washing machines."

When to use it: when someone gives you a homemade present and says it's “the thought that counts."

13. Clark: "Our holidays were always such a mess."

Clark Sr.: "Oh, yeah."

Clark: "How'd you get through it?"

Clark Sr.: "I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels."

When to use it: every day of finals week. And every day of break spent with your family. And every day in general…

14. Ruby Sue: "Rocky bit my thumb. Him's nervous."

Clark: "Nervous or excited?"

Ruby Sue: "Sh*ttin' bricks."

Clark: "You shouldn't use that word."

Ruby Sue: "Sorry. Sh*ttin' rocks."

When to use it: when your family doesn't appreciate your potty-mouth.

15. “Merry Christmas. Sh*tter was full."

When to use it: All. Year. Long.

Merry Christmas!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

70728
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

132348
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments