15 "Christmas Vacation" Quotes To Use This Holiday Season

15 "Christmas Vacation" Quotes To Use This Holiday Season

Hip, hip hooray for Christmas vacation!
173664
views

It's that time of year: Christmas is here. Everybody knows there isn't a better time of year. "Hear that sleigh, Santa's on his way: hip, hip hooray for Christmas vacation!" If you were singing that in your head by the third line, then you understand the glory of "National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation." Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo blessed us with this film nearly 30 years ago, and with a screenplay by John Hughes, the film is just as funny today. Here are 15 quotes from "Christmas Vacation" that you should be using this holiday season.

1. “Hallelujah! Holy sh*t! Where's the Tylenol?”

When to use it: the holiday season can be stressful, but the key to staying cheery is to fake it until you make it. Use this quote when you need some extra help faking it.



2. “We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye.”

When to use it: when your family is killing your Christmas vibes.



3. Todd: "Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?"

Clark: "Bend over and I'll show you.

When to use it: when family asks you about what you’re going to do with your future, how college is going, or if you have a significant other yet.
Or when your neighbor, Todd, is #theworst.




4. “She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don't know.”

When to use it: any time your family comments on your appearance.



5. “Worse? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell.”

When to use it: when it’s finals week, and you're watching Christmas movies instead of studying.



6. “Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.”

When to use it: when professors give you 20 million assignments right before break.



7. “Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”

When to use it: when your uncle starts talking about how Donald Trump should be president at your family’s Christmas dinner.



8. “I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.”

When to use it: when your parents won’t let you open presents at 6 a.m. because you’re an adult now.



9. Ellen: "He's an old man. This may be his last Christmas."

Clark: "If he keeps it up, it will be his last Christmas.

When to use it: when your racist grandpa is being extra racist.



10. “Lotta sap in here! Mmmm... Looks great! Little full, lotta sap.”

When to use it: when you regret buying a real Christmas tree, but you’ll never tell your significant other they were right and you should have gone with a fake one from Lowe's.



11. “Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so.”

When to use it: when you need to deflect because a co-worker asked you to cover their Christmas Eve shift.



12. Audrey: "He worked really hard, Grandma."

Art: "So do washing machines.”

When to use it: when someone gives you a homemade present and says it’s “the thought that counts."



13. Clark: "Our holidays were always such a mess."

Clark Sr.: "Oh, yeah."

Clark: "How'd you get through it?"

Clark Sr.: "I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.”

When to use it: every day of finals week. And every day of break spent with your family. And every day in general…



14. Ruby Sue: "Rocky bit my thumb. Him's nervous."

Clark: "Nervous or excited?"

Ruby Sue: "Sh*ttin' bricks."

Clark: "You shouldn't use that word."

Ruby Sue: "Sorry. Sh*ttin' rocks.


When to use it: when your family doesn’t appreciate your potty-mouth.



15. “Merry Christmas. Sh*tter was full.”

When to use it: All. Year. Long.

Merry Christmas!



Popular Right Now

10 Bible Verses For Thanksgiving

Psalm 34:1
325525
views

The Thanksgiving season is a time we spend with our loved ones giving thanks for the blessings we are given. Here are 20 Bible verses that remind us of what Thanksgiving is all about:

1) 1 Chronicles 16:34

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

2) Colossians 3:15-17

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

3) Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

4) Psalm 30:12

That my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!

5) Isaiah 12:4-5

And you will say in that day: “Give thanks to the Lord, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the peoples, proclaim that his name is exalted. “Sing praises to the Lord, for he has done gloriously; let this be made known in all the earth.

6) Hebrews 12:28-29

Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire.

7) Jonah 2:9

But I will sacrifice to You With the voice of thanksgiving. That which I have vowed I will pay Salvation is from the Lord."

8) 1 Timothy 4:4-5

For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected, if it is received with gratitude; for it is sanctified by means of the word of God and prayer.

9) Psalm 28:7

The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him.

10) Psalm 100:4

Enter His gates with thanksgiving, And His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him; bless His name.

Cover Image Credit: Wallpapers Pro

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

7 Spooktacular Ways To Give Your Halloween Pumpkin A Grown-Up Twist By Incorporating Alcohol

Shoutout to my best friend, Pinterest.

222
views

As you get older, some people may think they're too old to carve a pumpkin for Halloween. Those people are wrong. First reason: it doesn't matter how old or ~mature~ you get, no one is "too old" for Halloween. Second reason: pumpkin kegs are a thing, so there you go. Here are some creative ways to give your jack o' lanterns a little bit of a "grown-up" twist:

1. The pumpkin keg

This one's for all the beer-lovers out there. What's a more festive way to drink beer than drinking straight out of a pumpkin? Also, Halloween is the only time when it's acceptable to drink beer out of a pumpkin, so if you're into that, why not take advantage of it?

2. Painted pumpkins

Life imitates art? For all the less crafty souls out there, painting a pumpkin is 100x easier than carving, and a lot easier to clean up. Also, this makes for adorable, yet ~spooky~ decorations for your Halloween party.

3. Pumpkin wine dispenser

Slap the pumpkin anyone? If someone walked up to me at a party with a whole ass pumpkin and told me to "slap the bag" my basic girl persona would immediately take over and grab that pumpkin with no questions asked. This is obviously much like the pumpkin keg, but for wine lovers.

4. Pumpkin cooler

Nothing says "Halloween" like chilling your alcohol inside a pumpkin.

5. Pumpkin beer holder

Essentially, the same idea as the pumpkin cooler, but with a different technique.

6. Pumpkin punch bowl

Only the realest Halloween fans would drink straight from a pumpkin.

7. Drunk pumpkins

Creative, yet relatable. This pumpkin is also a good reminder to be responsible with your drinking and not get Halloween wasted.

Related Content

Facebook Comments