1. “Oh I can’t stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing and walking and the words-putting-into sentence doing.”
Coffee is going to be one of the best things to ever happen to you throughout your four years of college. Appreciate that magical cup of goodness.
2. “People are particularly stupid today. I can’t talk to any more of them.”
People are going to ask you dumb questions, it’s best to give them a dumb answer.
3. “Oy with the Poodles already!”
Here’s a new catch phrase for after you’ve just been assigned 3 papers, 2 study guides and a powerpoint presentation all due for the following week.
4. “I’m fine. I’m great. It’s a big fat happy sunshine day for me.”
This is exactly what you will say when you’re sitting in the 8:30 AM Friday class after you thought it was a good idea to participate in thursday festivities.
5. “If you’re going to throw your life away he better have a motorcycle!”
Something to keep in mind every time you say you are just going to drop out and marry rich.
6. “People can live 100 years without really living for a minute, you climb up here with me it’s one less minute you haven’t lived.”
Take some chances, step out of your comfort zone. College is about trying new things.
7. “It’s girls gone wild and boys doing the twist. We’re not spring break people are we?”
Everyone becomes a spring break person at one point in college, and 10/10 times you will be happy you did it.
8. “Who cares if I’m pretty if I fail all of my finals.”
Finals week, most of the time you get to pick between studying and doing well on your finals or getting sleep and taking your chances.
9. “The Pop tart tasted like freedom, and rebellion, and independence."
Pop Tarts will also most likely be one of the only cheap snacks you will be able to afford when you are looking to stock up your dorm room with some food.
10. “Nothing excites me before 11:00 AM”
This is something you will learn after making the mistake of early morning classes first semester.
11. “I want to get the healthy glow of someone who consistently goes to the gym, without actually having to go of course.”
How everyone feels after gaining the freshman fifteen, but not wanting to work out to get back into shape.
12. “Who else had 8 shots of tequila? Anybody? Hands.”
Getting ready to go out and then realizing that none of your friends partied as hard as you did.
13. “Violent pencil tossing usually signals the need for pie.”
Don’t let school overwhelm you too much, take a break and go get some pie!
