1. NEVER

You're dog won't understand why you never came home.

2. NOT TODAY 

Speeding tickets are a bitch.

3. NOT TOMORROW 

You're putting other lives at risk.

4. NOT IN A MONTH 

You could die.

5. NOT IN A YEAR 

You don't look cool, you're actually a major dumbass.

6. NOT IN THE MORNING 

School zones are a BIG NO.

7. NOT IN THE AFTERNOON

You're just wasting gas.

8. ESPECIALLY NOT AT NIGHT 

Speed bumps are a real bitch to hit at 90 mph.

9. NEVER 

Funerals are expensive.

10. NEVER

It's better to be late than dead.