I think we can all agree that 35mph speed limit signs are some of the worst things to ever be placed on earth. But the next time you want to show off and venture past the 100mph range, please rethink your decision.
1. NEVER
You're dog won't understand why you never came home.
2. NOT TODAY
Speeding tickets are a bitch.
3. NOT TOMORROW
You're putting other lives at risk.
4. NOT IN A MONTH
You could die.
5. NOT IN A YEAR
You don't look cool, you're actually a major dumbass.
6. NOT IN THE MORNING
School zones are a BIG NO.
7. NOT IN THE AFTERNOON
You're just wasting gas.
8. ESPECIALLY NOT AT NIGHT
Speed bumps are a real bitch to hit at 90 mph.
9. NEVER
Funerals are expensive.
10. NEVER
It's better to be late than dead.
I'll be the first to say that speed limit signs are just roadside decoration for me, but after you get stopped three times in one week you'll eventually learn to slow your ass down.
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