A question I'm asked nearly every single day is, "How tall are you?". I know, I'm a giant. At 6'3", I'm a relatively large person. Sometimes, being tall isn't so great. As someone who is over 6" tall, there are certain instances I find myself in that make me wish I were shorter. Here are a few, courtesy of your friendly neighborhood giraffe.
1. I am not athletic
People automatically assume that because I'm tall, I'm somehow either heavily involved with sports or follow them religiously. I'm not. Sorry to burst your bubble, but I've never been athletic, and I probably never will be.
2. Shopping for pants
Shopping for pants is a legitimate joke. No retailer has ever carried my size in the store. I'm either walking out of the store with a pair of knee length shorts or capris when I went in looking for pants.
3. Shirt shopping
Long-sleeve shopping, like pants shopping, is also a joke. I go into a retailer looking for a flannel and I leave the store with a 3/4 sleeve flannel. Job well done.
4. Shopping in general
Okay, honestly, shopping in general is just really awkward. I can basically see over every aisle, I can never find the perfect fit of pants or shirts, and people are always asking me to help them reach for things, even when I don't work for the store.
5. Constant headaches
Walking through doors is constantly a game of limbo. "How low can you go?" Hopefully low enough to clear the door frame and not leave with a horrible headache.
6. Seating
"Dalton, do you have enough room back there?" Really? You can't feel by legs stabbing into your back through the car seat? No, I don't have enough leg room, nor will I ever.
7. What is a "Good night's rest"?
Unless I'm sleeping on the floor, my feet have never slept soundly on a mattress. They dangle off the edge, waiting for someone to come under the bed and take me away.
8. Bathroom shenanigans
If you ever catch me in the same restroom, I promise you I am not on my tippy-toes peeking into your stall, I'm standing firmly on my heels. Don't worry, I'm not trying to make this more awkward than it already is.
9. Bathroom mirrors
While on the topic of restrooms, let's talk about bathroom mirrors. They're never high enough. Sure, I catch a glimpse of how great my torso and lower body is doing, but unless I'm doing a hardcore sorority squat, my face is non-existent. It's fine, I didn't need to see the spaghetti sauce on my face anyways, it's what all the kids are wearing these days.
10. Pull-ups
I never skip leg day. Want to know why? Arm day is impossible. Sure, I can get some sets of bench press and push-ups but if I want to do some pull-ups, I might as well go home and sleep. It's hard to do chin-ups when the bar comes to your chin. I could probably hold the world record for longest chin-up session.
As you can see, there are plenty of situations I find myself in where I want to curl up in a ball and tune out the world. To combat these, I smile, wave like the late Princess Diana, and avoid any eye contact with anyone. I am tall, I am mighty (most of the time), and "yes ma'am, I would love to get this can of soup for you."
