At the age of 24, well in two weeks, I can secure that identity but you guys get the picture. Anyways it took me this long to realize that I am a people pleaser and I will do anything to make people happy even if that matters sacrificing my own happiness. What I thought was just a friendly gesture when I was growing up turned out to be an identity that I had created. People wouldn’t talk about if they would just start to make conversation with me and ask for something. “Sure, no problem” soon turned into my response for everything like a broken record. I was so naïve that half the people I was hanging out with weren’t my friend I was just being taken advantage of. I tolerated it for so long because I wanted the friends and knew I could keep them if they got what they want.
The reason its taking me this long to figure it out was being I’m in a transition where I need to focus on myself because things are changing so much. I just graduated 6 months ago and I’m struggling with the transition of adult hood. I’m not getting what I want in life and it might start with the “friends” I’m hanging out with. I need to start paying attention to my needs to set me up for success and not let that work get hindered by others. It's time to shift the focus from others to yourself. After all, it can be difficult to improve your own life when you're too busy accommodating others.
Even though I have always wanted to keep the people around despite scarifying my happiness. I’m slowly starting to get better. Do some things for yourself even if it means stepping out of the norm. Whatever you do, do it for you, and practice not worrying what anyone else thinks. Don't get caught up in doing things "their way" just because no one else wants you to do them "your way." Remember that there ought to be things that you truly want to do for yourself, regardless of what anyone else thinks, not in spite of it. Other people's opinions are a factor in our lives, but they should not be the determining factor.
I soon realized that when I find those real people life starts to become better. You’re not just doing things for them but the conversation starts with “hey what can I do for you this morning?” there is a balance in this relationship. What is acceptable behavior for you and what is unacceptable? Being able to analyze this factor allows you to measure what can be done for others and what shouldn't be done for others in a much more objective manner. I’m not saying that we can’t offer a helping hand just make sure you are not crossing bridges for people who don’t jump puddles for you.
I wrote this to inform the people pleasers of the world the ones with the kind hearts. It’s time we start protecting ourselves and looking out for us. It doesn’t make us selfish it just makes us realize our self-worth and make it known that I’m not one to be taken advantage of.
Hey if you can realize that before the tender age of 23 when everything in your life is changing and you don’t have those people that you were there for you you’re doing good. Let me tell you when you’re having a midlife crisis and you’re away from home the best are being cuddled up with a friend who is there for you. Oh yeah don’t forget the binge eating that your best friend puts you through either. Anyway don’t forget what you stand for and stay true to your convictions. You can’t lose ☺
