Some Say 'Actions Speak Louder Than Words,' But We Have To Acknowledge That Our Words Do Matter

Some Say 'Actions Speak Louder Than Words,' But We Have To Acknowledge That Our Words Do Matter

Let's consider how our words affect people as well as our actions.

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Growing up, everywhere I went I heard the saying "actions speak louder than words." In fact, I recently read someone's comment on a Facebook post in which they argued this sentiment. I appreciate the intent behind it, and I think there's some truth to it. I think that words can be seen as empty if they don't reflect what our actions are. For example, if I tell someone I love them and then I lie to them, my action is not demonstrating that I love them. My words seem empty. However, I think it's a bit more complicated than simply saying "actions speak louder than words."

I think the issue comes down to the fact that human beings are imperfect and selfish.

We lie, cheat, are prideful, envious, and don't always treat each other well. Our actions are not always going to reflect our words, even if we have every intention of being loving and nurturing toward someone through our words. If I tell someone I love them and I lie to them, it doesn't mean I wasn't entirely truthful when I said that I loved them. Would I demonstrate love through my actions if I lied? Generally, I don't think so. However, I think context matters. Intention matters. I don't condone lying at all, but there could be a million reasons why that lie was told. I think we should also acknowledge that sometimes an action is sharing powerful words with someone that can affect them.

Sometimes our actions are centered around words.

Words matter.

I think former President Barack Obama would agree with me. I think words still have the power to affect us to the very core of our being. Words have the power to unite people. Words are how we share knowledge. Words allow us to share ideas. Words give us beloved stories like "Harry Potter" that teach us life lessons. Words affect the way we feel, even if we forget eventually what those words might be (thanks, Maya Angelou). Sometimes, words do stay with us. Words can break us down or build us up. Words are how we express our beliefs and values and the very essence of who we are. Sharing words are how we are vulnerable and build connections. Hearing someone tell you how great you are or an anecdote about a positive impact you've had can change your entire day.

I think what we should also acknowledge is that we have power over how much we let words affect us. If I trust you or know you have my best interests at heart, your words are going to affect me quite a bit more than words from someone I don't trust as much.

I can remember nights in which I've laid in bed and revisited everything I said to someone that day.

I come up with things that I should have said instead - a better response to a point in a discussion I was having, better words to express an intention I had, something I wish I could have said but didn't feel like I could, etc. The reason it matters so much to me is that I care for people through my words. I care how my words affect people, and I would never want someone to feel hurt by my words. At the same time, I also value honesty in my words. Let's consider how our words affect people as well as our actions.

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You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress

You had him in high school, but I get him for the rest of my life.
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High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it. You think that all of your friends will be with you until the end, and that you will end up with whoever you are dating your senior year. For very few, that might just be the case. For all others, that is far from true.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don't blame you though. He's great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I can't. I can't because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn't do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn't be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

I hate that you got to go to all of the school dances with him. He got to see you all dressed up and probably told you how great you looked. I'm sure you did look great. Prom dresses were always fun to pick out and so colorful. It was exciting to match colors with your date. I am sure you had fun choosing his matching tux to your dress.

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop. I am getting to match his tux with our wedding colors. I got to go dress shopping in a sea of white, and he doesn't get to know one detail about that dress yet. He will get to see me walk down the aisle and then every day forever. I get to love him forever.

I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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I Expected It To Have It All Together By 22 And I'm Still Far From That

What we expected and what reality actually is, are two completely different things...

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Oh our 20s, how we expected them to be so different. We expected to graduate college at 22, have a career by 23, be engaged by 24, married with a house by 25, kids by 26-28, vacationing with the family by 30, and retired by 60. We expected college to be parties and cute boys/girls. Instead, we got late nights of studying and crying after a job that barely pays for our car, food, dorm, and textbooks. We get no social life and if we do our grades suffer for it.

Our 20s were expected to be all fun but all we got were struggles and stress. I mean I don't know about you but I expected, to have it all together and I'm nearly 23 and far from it. I had all the scholarships and great grades, and I still don't have any type of degree.

Reality hits after 18. Most of us don't have the help of mom and dad anymore. We have to find our way and make a path for ourselves. Sometimes our dreams and goals have to be put on hold for that. The 20s isn't fun. It's about discovering who you are, who you want to be, and where you want to go. Some of us serve our country, some become incarcerated, some of us parents, some teachers, others cops, others travel or study abroad, some dead, some ill, other managers, others homeless, some still living home, and some even addicts.

The weird thing about your 20s is everyone is doing something different, but yet everyone is confused and comparing themselves to others. People feel if they're not doing what others are doing, in their age group then they have failed themselves. What people forget is that with life comes obstacles and sacrifice and everyone's life and situations are different. You are where you need to be right now, for you, and I think that's something to remember in your 20s.

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Another thing about your 20's is you're free to think for yourself now. No more having to follow a religion you dislike or hold back from things you love. The world is literally yours to discover and learn from. Possibilities are endless! I think your 20's are the years you create yourself to the best version of you and build the foundation for your future. Just remember, we all build at our own pace.

Signed,

The lost 22-year old that believes in you

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