Poetry On Odyssey: Ding Dong Dead

Poetry On Odyssey: Ding Dong Dead

Dorothy skipped and hopped like a toad, her two friends stopped and went to the side, discussing their plan for her quiet demise.


I loved the story of "The Wizard of Oz" growing up and in honor of Halloween coming up, I thought I would put a creepy little twist on the classic tale. The rhyming gives it a children's book-vibe, but this is definitely not a story I would recommend reading to a toddler... unless you want to scar them for life, maybe. This is a two-part collection of poems, the second of which I will be releasing next week. Enjoy!

The Scarecrow

Walking along the yellow brick road
Dorothy skipped and hopped like a toad
until she stopped and went to the side
to hear a desperate scarecrow man cry.

"Oh please!" he wailed, screaming aloud.
"Someone please get me back onto the ground!"
Then Dorothy ran to help the poor man
and together they got his feet back on the land.

"Are you alright?" she questioned in fright.
His eyes moved fast from the left to the right.
"Oh yes," he said with tears flowing down
and his coarse straw lips turned into a frown.

"For years I tried to be free from restrain
but I was not blessed with having a brain.
If so, I might've found a way to get down
to join all the munchkins back in the town."

A thought then popped into Dorothy's head
remembering what the North Witch had once said.
"The Wizard of Oz is who you require
to fill your most pressing, desperate desire.

I'll take you there and we'll get what we need
so just follow behind while I take the lead!"
His expression soon turned from sad to gay
and together they both went on their way.

The Tin Man

Walking along the yellow brick road
the scarecrow and Dorothy happily strode
until they stopped and went to the side
to hear the wails of a lone Tin Man's cry.

"What's wrong?" they asked, approaching the man
and gave him some oil from an old rusted can.
Through creaky sobs, he showed them his chest
and then he proceeded to tell them the rest

"What I lack is a soul and some love
and so long I've prayed to the heavens above.
I'm structured and strong, and I've got some real smarts,
but what I crave most is the warmth of a heart."

The scarecrow and Dorothy looked at each other.
Surely they'd be able to take on another.
"Come with us," she said "we'll help fix your flaw.
We know of a wizard who can help us all."

And soon all three were back on the road,
singing and skipping and hopping like toads.
But with burning desire, they could hardly take it
and the tin man and scarecrow soon grew impatient.

Dorothy Must Die

Walking along the yellow brick road
Dorothy skipped and hopped like a toad
her two friends stopped and went to the side,
discussing their plan for her quiet demise.

"Are you thinking what I am?" The tin man had said.
The scarecrow looked lost, scratching his head.
"The girl has a heart and a brain!" Tin exclaimed.
"The two things we most desperately wish to gain!

Dorothy is one of the purest of souls
Why settle for silver, when you can have gold?
The Wizard is fake, and everyone knows
he's just an old man putting on magic shows!"

They looked at each other and smiled a smirk
and in both their eyes a new evil did lurk.
They caught up with her, not making a sound
then bashed her head hard and she fell to the ground.

Not yet knocked out, she let out a scream,
"Why do you do this? We're on the same team!"
She struggled to crawl on her hands and her knees
as the two were approaching with increasing speed.

Soon she was cornered, her back on a tree.
The crack in her head was starting to bleed.
They beat her with fists of metal and straw
until she was no longer breathing at all.

They ripped out her motionless heart and her brain
and looked back down at the gory remains.
Laughing they smiled, both dancing with joy
for an end had come to their successful ploy.

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15 Texts We'd Get From Dogs If They Had Thumbs

"If you're reading this, send Milk Bones."

Let's be real, anyone who has a dog knows that it if we could, we would text our dogs all day long. If they could text us, our thread would look something like...

1. "Are you coming home soon?! Let's go out!"

2. "So not to be weird... but you never ended up answering me last night... Am I the good boy? Idk I just want to be clear on our relationship I don't want to be lead on if I'm not."

3. "The cat is being such a bit** I literally can't stand her"

4. "Hey, just wondering, are you going to wear those black booties tonight? If you are, I'll chew the zipper out of the brown ones instead."

5. "Okay, so don't freak out, but something not so chill happened on the rug..."

6. "Are there any leftovers in the trash? I'm not gonna get into it, I was just curious. Love u."

7. "If you're reading this... bring Milk Bones."

8. "Hey, what's for dinner tonight?! Purina again?"

9. "Miss you!!"

10. "Are you gonna eat that food on the counter or is that for everyone? Asking for the cat."

11. "I LOVE YOU"

12. "OMG, I can't wait for you to come home on break! Can you sleep in the guest room tho? Mom said I could have your room when you moved out. Love u!"

13. "Ice cream date later?!"

14. "We should go for a walk I need to get my ass back in shape for summer. You should be my workout buddy!"

15. "Netflix and chill tonight?"

Cover Image Credit: Salon

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Poetry On Odyssey: Hustle and Bustle This Holiday Season

"...Have conversation, turn off the cable..."


It's Holiday season,

Time to be freezin'.

Thanksgiving will be here before we know it,

Don't stop now, you can't quit.

Numerous trips to grocery stores,

Pure mayhem when you walk through those doors.

Shelves bare,

You're ready to pull out your hair.

Long check-out lines,

Or delayed airlines.

Prepare and cook the turkey low and slow,

Wait for that golden brown skin to glow.

Place the gravy and cranberry sauce on the table,

Have conversation, turn off the cable.

Before you know it, Christmas is here,

The classic songs are music to our ears.

Yet we all dread the trips to the mall,

To find the perfect gifts, big or small.

The Christmas Tree Lighting floods TV stations,

With singers from all generations,

The scent of candy canes fill the air,

We wish the day runs smoothly, Lord, hear our prayer.

Lots of wrappers and bows cover the floor,

As we obsess over our presents more and more.

New Year's creeps up on us,

Throwing a party is always a plus.

Streamers, noisemakers, food,

Who knew planning the perfect party was of this magnitude.

The line at the liquor store gets longer and longer,

Because of the stress in picking a champagne or sparkling cider.

Deciding to prepare finger foods or a five-course meal,

Why not get take-out? DEAL!

Clock counts down from ten.

As the clock strikes one, we've made it to another year, AMEN!

Glasses clinking,

People drinking,

"Happy New Year,"

We cheer.

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