Poetry On Odyssey: Ding Dong Dead

Poetry On Odyssey: Ding Dong Dead

Dorothy skipped and hopped like a toad, her two friends stopped and went to the side, discussing their plan for her quiet demise.


I loved the story of "The Wizard of Oz" growing up and in honor of Halloween coming up, I thought I would put a creepy little twist on the classic tale. The rhyming gives it a children's book-vibe, but this is definitely not a story I would recommend reading to a toddler... unless you want to scar them for life, maybe. This is a two-part collection of poems, the second of which I will be releasing next week. Enjoy!

The Scarecrow

Walking along the yellow brick road
Dorothy skipped and hopped like a toad
until she stopped and went to the side
to hear a desperate scarecrow man cry.

"Oh please!" he wailed, screaming aloud.
"Someone please get me back onto the ground!"
Then Dorothy ran to help the poor man
and together they got his feet back on the land.

"Are you alright?" she questioned in fright.
His eyes moved fast from the left to the right.
"Oh yes," he said with tears flowing down
and his coarse straw lips turned into a frown.

"For years I tried to be free from restrain
but I was not blessed with having a brain.
If so, I might've found a way to get down
to join all the munchkins back in the town."

A thought then popped into Dorothy's head
remembering what the North Witch had once said.
"The Wizard of Oz is who you require
to fill your most pressing, desperate desire.

I'll take you there and we'll get what we need
so just follow behind while I take the lead!"
His expression soon turned from sad to gay
and together they both went on their way.

The Tin Man

Walking along the yellow brick road
the scarecrow and Dorothy happily strode
until they stopped and went to the side
to hear the wails of a lone Tin Man's cry.

"What's wrong?" they asked, approaching the man
and gave him some oil from an old rusted can.
Through creaky sobs, he showed them his chest
and then he proceeded to tell them the rest

"What I lack is a soul and some love
and so long I've prayed to the heavens above.
I'm structured and strong, and I've got some real smarts,
but what I crave most is the warmth of a heart."

The scarecrow and Dorothy looked at each other.
Surely they'd be able to take on another.
"Come with us," she said "we'll help fix your flaw.
We know of a wizard who can help us all."

And soon all three were back on the road,
singing and skipping and hopping like toads.
But with burning desire, they could hardly take it
and the tin man and scarecrow soon grew impatient.

Dorothy Must Die

Walking along the yellow brick road
Dorothy skipped and hopped like a toad
her two friends stopped and went to the side,
discussing their plan for her quiet demise.

"Are you thinking what I am?" The tin man had said.
The scarecrow looked lost, scratching his head.
"The girl has a heart and a brain!" Tin exclaimed.
"The two things we most desperately wish to gain!

Dorothy is one of the purest of souls
Why settle for silver, when you can have gold?
The Wizard is fake, and everyone knows
he's just an old man putting on magic shows!"

They looked at each other and smiled a smirk
and in both their eyes a new evil did lurk.
They caught up with her, not making a sound
then bashed her head hard and she fell to the ground.

Not yet knocked out, she let out a scream,
"Why do you do this? We're on the same team!"
She struggled to crawl on her hands and her knees
as the two were approaching with increasing speed.

Soon she was cornered, her back on a tree.
The crack in her head was starting to bleed.
They beat her with fists of metal and straw
until she was no longer breathing at all.

They ripped out her motionless heart and her brain
and looked back down at the gory remains.
Laughing they smiled, both dancing with joy
for an end had come to their successful ploy.

Popular Right Now

35 Major Life Facts According To Nick Miller

"All booze is good booze, unless it's weak booze."

Fact: If you watch "New Girl," you love Nick Miller.

You can't help it. He's an adorable, lovable mess of a man and you look forward to seeing him and his shenanigans each week. While living the infamous and incomparable life of Nick Miller, and obviously Julius Pepperwood— he has learned many valuable laws of the land. And, although Nick refuses to learn anything from anyone besides his mysterious, old Asian friend Tran, he does have a few lessons he'd like to teach us.

Here are 35 facts of life according to 'Nick Milla Nick Milla':

1. Drinking keeps you healthy.

"I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer."

2. Dinosaurs never existed.

"I don't believe dinosaurs existed. I've seen the science. I don't believe it."

3. A paper bag is a bank.

"A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls."

4. Having sex is similar to delivering mail.

"I'm like a mailman, except instead of mail it's hot sex that I deliver."

5. Moonwalking is a foolproof way to get out of any awkward situation.

Jess (about Nick): "Now he won't even talk to me. I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me. He does that sometimes."

6. Using a movie reference is also a great way.

Cece: "Come on, get up!"

Nick: "No, I don't dance. I'm from that town in "Footloose."

7. There's no reason to wash towels.

Nick: "I don’t wash the towel. The towel washes me. Who washes a towel?"

Schmidt: "You never wash your towel?"

Nick: "What am I gonna do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?"

8. Exes are meant to be avoided at all costs (especially if/unless they're Caroline)

"I don't deal with exes, they're part of the past. You burn them swiftly and you give their ashes to Poseidon."

9. IKEA furniture is not as intimidating as it looks.

"I'm building you the dresser. I love this stuff. It's like high-stakes LEGOs."

10. You don't need forks if you have hands.

Jess: "That's gross. Get a fork, man."

Nick: "I got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms!"

11. Sex has a very specific definition.

"It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut."

12. Doors are frustrating.

"I will push if I want to push! Come on! I hate doors!"

13. All booze is good booze.

"Can I get an alcohol?"

14. ...unless it's weak booze.

"Schmidt, that is melon flavored liquor! That is 4-proof! That is safe to drink while you're pregnant!"

15. Writers are like pregnant women.

Jess: "You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus."

Nick: "I can top that easily. I'm having a hard time with my zombie novel."

Jess: "Are you really comparing a zombie novel to my ability to create life?"

Nick: "I'm a writer, Jess. We create life."

16. All bets must be honored.

"There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson. I lost a bet to Schmidt."

17. Adele's voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

"Adele is amazing."

18. Beyoncé is extremely trustworthy.

"I'd trust Beyoncé with my life. We be all night."

19. Fish, on the other hand, are not.

“Absolutely not. You know I don’t trust fish! They breathe water. That's crazy!"

20. Bar mitzvahs are terrifying.

Schmidt: "It's a bar mitzvah!"

Nick: "I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised!"

21. ...so are blueberries.

Jess: "So far, Nick Miller's list of fears is sharks, tap water, real relationships..."

Nick: "And blueberries."

22. Take your time with difficult decisions. Don't be rash.

Jess: "You care about your burritos more than my children, Nick?"

Nick: "You're putting me in a tough spot!"

23. Getting into shape is not easy.

"I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less donuts."

24. We aren't meant to talk about our feelings.

"If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called talkings."

25. We're all a little bit too hard on ourselves.

"The enemy is the inner me."

26. Freezing your underwear is a good way to cool off.

"Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing. I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you."

27. Public nudity is normal.

"Everbody has been flashed countless times."

28. Alcohol is a cure-all.

"You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol."

29. Horses are aliens.

"I believe horses are from outer-space."

30. Turtles should actually be called 'shell-beavers.'

Jess: "He calls turtles 'shell-beavers."

Nick: "Well, that's what they should be called."

31. Trench coats are hot.

"This coat has clean lines and pockets that don't quit, and it has room for your hips. And, when I wear it, I feel hot to trot!"

32. Sparkles are too.

"Now, my final bit of advice, and don't get sensitive on this, but you've got to change that top it's terrible and you've got to throw sparkles on. Sparkles are in. SPARKLES ARE IN."

33. Introspection can lead to a deeper knowing of oneself.

"I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words."

34. It's important to live in the moment.

"I know this isn't gonna end well but the middle part is gonna be awesome."

35. Drinking makes you cooler.

Jess: "Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing."

Nick: "That's the only thing in the world I know to be true."

Cover Image Credit: Hollywood Reporter

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

The Zodiac Signs As Bath And Body Works Scents

Just in case you want to know what scent you are!

Bath and Body Works fans could be considered to be part of a cult. The scents draw you in as if calling your name, if you ever
wondered what your scent should be based on your zodiac sign, here it is!

Aries: Country Apple

The rather impulsive Aries takes their time picking and choosing the scents from Bath and Body Works. The soothing scent of a fresh apple orchard is just what they need on a daily basis to keep up with their shenanigans.

Taurus: Japanese Cherry Blossom

The personality of a Taurus is stubborn, or what I like to say, is stuck in their ways. When they first discovered this scent in middle school, this was it. This is the only scent you will find anywhere around a Taurus.

Libra: Pink Chiffon

Pink Chiffon is another cult classic. This best selling scent went out of style for a hot second but is back and bigger than ever.

Leo: Thousand Wishes

Thousand Wishes is a purr-fect scent for a Leo. The light scent adornes the wearer just the right amount to get the desired reaction from those around them.

Aquarius: Be Enchanted

The rather cold personality of an Aquarius is counteracted by the loving scent of Be Enchanted. The scent is just enough tenderness for the wearer to be relaxed.

Gemini: Moonlight Path

Gemini's constantly change their favorite scent and are in and out of the store almost weekly to by new lotions, candles, and body washes. You will never see a full empty bottle of anything, however, Moonlight Path is the scent they keep coming back to again and again.

Virgo: Sea Island Cotton

The clean personality of a Virgo must be matched with the clean scent of Sea Island Cotton.

Capricorn: Cucumber Melon

Another clean scent of Cucumber Melon is the exact thing a Capricorn needs. The balance and calming scents are what make this scent so attractive to a Capricorn.

Scorpio: Paris Amour

The light scent is what you would expect from an extreme sign like a Scorpio. The scent lightly washes over the wearer in almost a cloud that

Sagittarius: Cashmere Glow

Cashmere Glow is a perfect scent for the winter sign. The vanilla and golden peach scent is just the mixture that creates the perfect accessory in the chilly months.

Pisces: Warm Vanilla Sugar

This lovely scent accentuates the lovely personality of a Pisces. They can never get enough of this scent so they just keep buying and buying until they have a full stockpile.

Cancer: Velvet Sugar

Velvet Sugar is the perfect blend of red velvet and strawberries and a Cancer is always changing their mind. The wearer can tell if it is a more red velvet or strawberry kind of day, and that is the balance that they need in their lives.

Related Content

Facebook Comments