Wow, being out of college is a trip. On one hand, it's full of fun and wonder- wow I can do whatever I want? There is a world of possibilities out there? It's now the time to really figure out what you want to do and make it happen. How exciting.
On the other hand, it is the first time that you really have to choose what you'll do to make the future you want happen. You have to make all the choices! At least for me, that's stressful AF. I didn't realize how nice college was: I would go to class, know I was doing something for my future, and decide that everything else could wait until after college.
I am a natural procrastinator, so of course that line of thought made sense to me. Think about it later. Do it Later. Worry about it later. Later is NOW and that's what gets me. I want to write my own television show, that's my dream. I didn't work on it much in college because I was in college and I felt like I didn't have time. More importantly though I didn't write it because I wanted it to be great. I wanted it to be the best pilot script ever and I didn't think I could give that effort to the script at the time.
Fast forward to six months after graduation, I'm in a new city, still at my Starbucks job, and no words on the page. Now was the time to write that great pilot I always dreamed of! I wasn't in college anymore, why couldn't I do it? When I realized I wasn't writing it because I was so afraid to fail writing it.
I already felt like a failure not having a 'real' job yet after graduation, still working the same job I did in college, getting rejected by unpaid internships- that I couldn't possibly add something I really cared about to the list.
However, that's exactly what I had to do. I had to just sit down and write it, and if it was bad- oh well- I had to at least FINISH it. So, I starting writing it one night, and let me tell you - writing it felt good. It felt like I was reconnecting with my passion. I didn't care as much if it would be good, I just wanted to get it down. It was one of those moments when "It's about the journey, not the destination" really hit me in the head, like a coffee cup from an angry customer. It's funny how those cliche quotes always seem to prove themselves right eventually.
Now I realize too, that it really is about the journey. Maybe writing my pilot will lead me to something else, maybe if it's a bad script it'll show me it's actually not my dream, maybe it'll show me that I just enjoy writing for myself and I'd rather just become a travel photographer, or teacher, or something completely different. WHO KNOWS.
The thing is, you really don't know until you try. I thought my procrastinating method in school was so efficient and clever, and let's be honest I think it was. We have to be careful to not carry those methods with us for too long and ultimately we can't let fear rule us.
I know, I know, a bit of a cliche ending to this article, but hey I was told once that cliches are cliches because they are kind of true. Think that one over, and go out and try, finish, fail, and let the pieces fall where they may. (Ok I'll stop with the cliche phrases now, but once you start you really can't stop.)
