When I Get Where I'm Going

When I Get Where I'm Going

These are definitely some questions I'd ask to God if I ever get the chance

Sometimes I wonder what it's going to be like if I am able to stand in front of God on judgment day. What's He going to be like? How am I going to act? Although these questions are important, I also believe that I've spent quite a chunk of my life wondering what I'd ask God if he were sitting right in front of me? What would I want to talk to him about? And after I am on my hands and knees in awe of Christ the King, here are some things that I'd want to ask God when I get to heaven:

Did you ever laugh at things I said?

Maybe it's just me, but I like to treat God like my best friend a lot of times, well because He is. Sure, I talk to God seriously when I pray. I tell him about my life when it doesn't make sense, but I laugh with God too. I tell him jokes. I'm sarcastic. I admit that he knows what He's doing, and He could play the "I told you so card" anytime He wants, and I would (reluctantly at times) crack a smile.

I think I'd want to know this because, ideally, it makes Him more personal to me. That He would take time out of His demanding schedule to laugh with me. I think it is said often that God has a sense of humor because, well, look at humanity. Have you seen some of these crazy, awesome, and strange people? I think he created us with the intention of bringing joy to people, and with a sense of humor like that, I'd like to think he's laughed with me (and maybe even at me) a good bit. Whether it's my terrible road rage, insanely good pick-up lines (I'm definitely single), or boldness to ask questions that people wouldn't dare think of. So, are you laughing at my words, God?

Did you ever laugh at the things I did?

Some days, I am a total idiot. I can say that because it's true. I don't make the best decisions always, and throughout the heartbreak of situations, I know God isn't laughing at me because he's probably broken with me. But stupid little day to day things I do, I think God probably laughs at me. Whether it's falling down the stairs of a public building or making people feel incredibly awkward with being exactly who I am, I'm sure God has chuckled at me a time or two.

I think I'd want to know this because I know God created me with humor fully intended. I am not the most eloquent with my actions, but I sure have learned to adapt (this world has a lot of stairs okay), so thank you, God, for that strength. I wonder if he laughs at the fact that I cannot dance worth a nickel, and I'm sure he laughs at my facial expressions in response to other people's actions or sentences spoken. My face is literally a billboard for every single emotion made public, and I'd like to think that probably makes people almost as uncomfortable as they make me. I'm sure he laughs at me when I act like a fool in public or maybe he's just laughing at himself for making someone so awkward. So, are you laughing at me, God?

I think there are a lot of things I'd love to know about God, His creations, and His thoughts. I know I'll probably too overwhelmed to actually speak, but hey, if I ever get past that, we've got an eternity, right God?

Cover Image Credit: Scoopnest-Adam Braun

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.


When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

SEE ALSO: They're Not Junkies, You're Just Uneducated

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

Cover Image Credit: http://crashingintolove.tumblr.com/post/62246881826/pieffysessanta-tumblr-com

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Where Is The Good In Good Friday?

The million dollar question: why is it called Good Friday if what happened to Jesus on this day was so gruesome?


The name of this holiday and what happened on this day all those years ago just don't seem to add up. Jesus was beaten, mocked, and scorned. He hung on a cross with nails driven through his hands and his feet. He had to struggle for every breath of air up until his last one. This doesn't seem to fit our definition of good, So why do we call it Good Friday?

Perhaps the reason for the name of this day is not because what Jesus had to go through was good, but because what was to come was. When Jesus died on the cross, nobody who loved Jesus at that time perceived that moment as good. There was so much sorrow and hurt and darkness literally fell over the earth. They had no idea that on the third day Jesus would conquer death and raise from the dead.

Good Friday is good in the eyes of Christians because without that gruesome death Jesus went through on the cross, we would never be able to experience life with Him. When Christ died, the veil of the temple was torn in two, thus erasing the separation between God and man. We wouldn't have His holy spirit living inside of us without His death.

Another reason Good Friday is good is because His death had to occur in order for the resurrection to happen. The resurrection happened on the third day, the day we also know as Easter. This is a day of great celebration because we perceive the fact that Jesus defeated death and came back to life as a good thing. It makes you wonder why it's not called "Good Sunday". This celebrated resurrection could not have happened without the gruesome death, which Jesus knew as He was hanging on that cross.

While it's difficult to give a definitive answer to the question of why Good Friday is, in fact, good, I hope this provides a little bit of perspective. On this day, let's remember Jesus' death and celebrate because of what it means. When Jesus died, so did our sin and shame, but unlike Jesus, they did not come back to life. The death of Jesus means the death of sin and the death of the shame that accompanies it.

Let's celebrate Jesus and that good news on this Good Friday!

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