When you think of makeup or beauty, most of us probably don't think of it as anything too special. Some may even see it as a hassle or a stressful topic. But for me, it is something much greater than that. Makeup is something I'm super passionate about, but I haven't been very vocal about it until now. My journey with makeup has been a long one, but it's shaped a lot of other factors in my life.

From grades one through eight, I was educated at a Catholic school. Tied with the school came strict rules about our appearance. We could only wear clear or light pink nail polish, a boy's hair couldn't be too long, and for a long time, we couldn't even wear socks that showed our ankles. We were not allowed to wear any makeup, although this didn't stop people from trying. I never had any exposure to any sort of beauty product. That is, until I discovered something that literally changed my perspective forever.

I don't exactly remember why, but I'm assuming I was extremely bored and decided to entertain myself by watching various videos on YouTube. I remember seeing a video suggestion on the side of my screen of a girl with long brown hair titled. "Everyday Neutral Eye Makeup Tutorial." Even though the title seems rather simple, my brain underwent feelings of both confusion and amazement. Wait, people make videos about this?! I thought. How have I never seen these before? With a swift click of my mouse, I watched the fifteen minute video in awe. Immediately inspired (by a girl with the username "juicystar07"), I decided I was going to search the internet for more personalities like her and learn as much as possible. This kick-started my obsession with every product, brand, and technique ever created.

Although I couldn't wear makeup in school, I was experimenting with every look I could find on the internet. I spent most of my money on various products from mascara to foundation. It quickly became an obsession. Trying to figure out which eye shadows worked together or which blush made my cheeks glow without looking to glittery was the most exciting part of my day. Of course there were some looks in pictures I've seen that I realized did not flatter me at all, but hey, better late then never.

YouTube also became a bigger influence, discovering some of my favorite beauty gurus such as Michelle Phan, Zoella, and Emily Eddington (just to name a few...I'm subscribed to at least 30 others). I loved being able to watch product reviews. hauls, and makeup/hair tutorials when I was in a bad mood, or just generally bored. As silly as it sounds, this was kind of a stress relieving activity for me. I could come home from school and log into YouTube so see what new videos were uploaded, and dive right in for hours. I based most of the products I purchased on them and spent most of my money the second I got it. I love trying out new products and brands. My collection is a bit extensive (about two medium sized drawers crammed full...I should probably go through them soon) but at least this way I have more options.

Over time, I learned much more than the differences between matte, satin, and shimmery eye shadows. I realized makeup made me feel more confident and comfortable with myself. The process of transforming my face into something I could deem attractive made me extremely satisfied. But I also discovered that I can be confident without the foundation and lipstick. My love for makeup is still going strong, but I don't wear it as often anymore. I know it's ok if I want to wear makeup everyday, sometimes, or not at all. Makeup has taught me a lot about myself, and I'm glad I brought it into my life when I did.

I've seen posts on social media about how some people consider makeup to be "fake" and "false advertising" for anyone who wears it. Makeup is only there to enhance the features a person already has. There are many people who feel that wearing makeup makes them feel complete; it's like another accessory. I hope this attitude changes soon, because I can't imagine my life without the precious lessons of confidence and positivity.