I've never been a morning person. I have a special place in my heart for days when I can sleep in, and an unhealthy dependence on coffee for days when I can't. Waking up before noon is just not my forte. I wish it was, because it would certainly make having a job easier, but I guess that's what caffeine and energy drinks are for, right? I like to think of my difficulty functioning in the early hours of the day as a sign of me being in a strong and committed relationship with my bed, but honestly I'm just lazy. Anyone who's like me will understand the struggles of having to wake up in the morning when you're not a morning person.
1. Sometimes you wake up so drowsy that you don't even know where you are or how you got there.
Wait, what year is it again?
2. After a few minutes, you realize what's going on.
Nope, not today. NOT TODAY, SATAN.
3. You reach for the snooze button and tell yourself that you just need ten more minutes.
Me to me: "I'll get up, I just need to close my eyes for a little bit longer. I promise I won't fall back asleep."
4. "Ten more minutes" turns into you sleeping through all 15 of your back-up alarms.
A revolutionary war cannon could go off outside your bedroom window and you still wouldn't wake up.
5. You wake up an hour and a half later.
6. Then you realize how late it is.
OH. MY. GOD.
7. You start thinking about how much time you DON'T have to get ready and how much easier your life would be if waking up in the morning wasn't so hard.
"Why do I do these things", "why am I like this", and "why is this my life" are questions you ask yourself every morning, and are also all very fitting titles for your future autobiography.
8. Even though you have almost no time to get dressed, you still stand in front of the bathroom mirror for several minutes trying to figure out what to do.
I think I need clothes... right?
9. Eventually, you make it to work/class and someone asks you how your day's been so far.
Don't even get me started, Debra.
10. You explain that you woke up late and had to rush to work/class and someone says that you should try going to bed earlier so you're not so tired in the morning.
I didn't ASK for your advice, DEBRA. Why don't you just go back to avoiding your responsibilities by watching cat videos instead of writing up those quarterly reports?
11. You reflect on the day as you drive home.
Me: *pats self on the back for just barely getting by
