Everyone has that group of five to eight friends that just shouldn't work, but somehow they do. Why? Because we all have different personalities and we all balance each other out. In all honesty, the real issue with our friendship lies within our Chipotle orders. And for those of you who like Moes, YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!
If you get a burrito, packed the brim with everything Chipotle has to offer, chances are you FREQUENT the buffet. You're outgoing, the type of friend that actually answers to a "K" text. You’re like the NAFTA of food consumption — you don’t believe in borders or roadblocks.
If you get the burrito, chances are you're the friend that appears to have your sh*t together. You get straight A's, join every club, you really like to pack your schedule, but to be honest, by the end of the year we all know you're falling apart. Don't worry though, your friends will be there to clean you up.
If you get the bowl, you go to the gym once a week, frequently drink cranberry vodka and call yourself a health nut (especially if you get brown rice). You avoid a mess as well as confrontation and some might say you're the responsible one, but don't fret "Mom," you'll have your day.
If you get double meat, you might be the drunk friend. You like everything in excess. Double meat, double shots, we know you. You can talk your way out of any situation, and we respect you for that.
If you don't mind paying two dollars extra for Guac, you might as well call yourself the wild one. Money ain't no thang. The world is your burrito, take it my storm.
If you get the quesadilla, you're doing it wrong. You're the shy one not one to make waves, and you typically keep your opinions to yourself. Your shouldn't be afraid to branch out, who knows ... you could be the next burrito.
Are you a hipster? You get it because fewer people are doing that nowadays. You own vinyl records because no has them anymore, and you aren't one to stir the pot. Congrats, you're the cool friend.
Burrito, no meat
You're a weirdo, who is weird. End of discussion.
If you qualify for any of these categories, you are that friend. Keep your friends close, but keep your Chipotle order closer.
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