STOP. What are you doing? You're fucking up. You're being so stupid. Stop falling. Don't!
Ignore the butterflies, ignore the fluttering in your chest, ignore the fuzziness in your brain when he kisses you.
He won't ever love you, no one can love you like that! Stop what you're doing RIGHT NOW!
Stop thinking about him nonstop, stop looking forward to his texts, stop caring so fucking much! What if he decided he doesn't care anymore?
STOP! You stupid, hopeless girl!
I, am a victim of failed almosts.
My first love tore me to shreds and because of that, I am too scared to have someone put me back together.
I always back away, so far, so they can't hear me crying. Crying over an almost that could've been an everything, only if his words would stop replaying themselves throughout my head.
"No one will love you."
"I found someone else."
"I don't care anymore."
See, my thoughts are my worst enemy, warping words, pixelating promises, fragmenting feelings, butchering butterflies.
Help me, I'm scared.
But what the fuck does it mean if you're scared to lose someone you've only known for a month.
This person that you don't want to go home, after a date, because you can't get enough of them, yet scared to drink them in entirely, because what if they're poison and you don't realize it until it's too late.
Dear God, I'm scared.
My brain needs to get it's shit together before it's too late and I'm dying with an empty heart.
Dear Brain, please stop being so harsh, I don't deserve it.
Dear Heart, don't stop beating for someone just because someone else says so.
Dear partner, mate, boyfriend, girlfriend, forgive me... I'm trying.
There it was! I will not be blocking hate, because I don't seem to care about it. I'm accepting all comments, all criticism whether it is rude or not, and suggestions!
I will probably only post poems and excerpts from my novels. I really do not know what else I would post.
Last thing, if you'd like to read my poems and/or novels, feel free to follow my Wattpad. I do have them posted along with some more things I've written that I can't really fit into a category.
Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/JadeAlexx
Email: jadeahutchinson@gmail.com
