I've always loved plants and it stinks because I don't have a natural instinct for planting. I've managed to keep some plants alive because they are "hard to kill" plants. My herbs have seen better days. I thought I could keep them in the sunniest spot on the porch and that didn't work out. Where we live, we can't have plants on the front porch or any ornaments. Although I am thankful and happy to have a roof over my head, I would love to have a means of keeping my plants alive. If I want to have herbs, I would have to put them in my backyard where people could steal them or nature could take over and eat them.
When I scroll through social media, it reminds me that I can't have the outside living space of my dreams due to the direction of my back yard and my housing association. It doesn't stop me from window shopping on amazon during this quarantine. Scrolling through social media during the day gives me so much inspiration on what I want my gardening space to be. Knowing this, it makes me sad because I won't willingly buy these beautiful plants. It's because of the death that is waiting for them on my shady back porch. My low light plants are the only beings that are thriving on my back porch at the moment.
Another confession is that people know that I love plants and they still give than to me as gifts. As much as I talk about how bad my conditions are in my back yard space, I don't like to refuse these beautiful little beings. I know that I have fellow plant lovers that would be amazing plant mums and dads, but it is truly my own selfishness that I try to keep them alive in my shady spot. Thankfully my succulent types of plants are living on the edge of the shade where most of the sunshine lives on my back porch. It is minimal but it is giving my babies the sunshine they need for thriving.
My final confession is that it is hard for me to walk in front of the plant section of any grocery or hardware store. I am not a big fan of cut flowers or herbs because I would rather them flourish. I, predominantly, shop at Trader Joes and their plant section gives me life. I always look at the section and figure out if they'll survive my porch. Normally, I tell myself no because I want them to go to loving homes where they could have more sunshine than my back porch.
I know that you the reader will probably think that I am a little crazy, but this is truly something I've really begun to enjoy during the battle of my depression and anxiety. Some people pursue art, writing, and other hobbies, and this is something that helps cultivate my nurturing spirit so that I don't mother everyone within my circle. Shout out to all of the plant parents out there.