Last night I sat on the balcony of my apartment for two hours as helicopters spiraled my campus and sirens rang out. A shooter came to my campus and killed two students. Several others were injured as well.

I'm finding it difficult to process; I don't have words for my emotions. I'm not devastated. I'm not a mess, or crying, or even sad. I'm not angry either. I feel something and yet nothing.

I wasn't on campus at the time of the shooting. I was at my apartment with friends. I keep imagining what it must have been like to be locked on campus for hours with so little information, and just the fear and terror of not knowing.

Would you be next?

I keep thinking about the kids who died. They woke up and went to class like any other day, and now they can never go home. They will never graduate and start their careers; they will never get to say "I love you" to their loved ones again.

What do you do when something like this happens so close to your home?

I am not the most active or spirited student. I don't champion my school. I don't go to sporting events, and I'm not in any clubs. But this is my school and these are my friends and peers.

You may feel disconnected like me. You may have trouble expressing and processing your emotions too. That's ok. We are allowed to feel and we are allowed to not feel as well. We don't all have to cry and we don't all have to tough it out.

I will be there for my friends who aren't as strong as me right now. I will be their rock if they need me to be. I will be there to hug them if they need a hug. I'll hold your hand if you need a hand to hold. I will drink a beer with you if you need a beer.

If you are a student at UNC Charlotte my heart is with you. If you are not, then lend us your strength just for today, and think about what it must have been like for all who go through such tragedy. Feel compassion and empathy. Spread love and positivity. Be an ear for those who struggle. And be the spark that starts a change so these crimes of hate end.

Thanks for reading <3