Trump Announces Horse As New Chief Of Staff
Start writing a post

Trump Announces Horse As New Chief Of Staff

President Donald Trump has announced his new Chief of Staff, the fourth during his administration.


President Donald Trump has announced his new Chief of Staff, the fourth during his administration. In a surprise move, Trump has appointed his own horse, a Russian Trotter named "Long Con", to the position.

Long Con will succeed Reince Priebus, fired after just 190 days, former general John F. Kelly, and Mick Mulvaney. The new Chief of Staff was quick to clarify, through his official Twitter account, that Mulvaney was only ever the "acting" chief of staff which isn't actually a position, "so who cares".

When reporters questioned the decision, White House Communication's Director Sarah Huckabee Sanders snarled smugly at the newsroom before spitting on Jim Acosta and announcing "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others", a statement she claims the president made up all on his own and anyone who says otherwise is not patriotic.

Long Con's appointment was just one in a flurry of moves from the White House this week. The usual policy outlets (Twitter) have circulated Trump's plan for a trade war against the sea god Neptune. The president has cited a trade deficit in seashells as "just one of many very very good and smart reasons for this long overdue victory for our country".

This piece is a work of satirical fiction.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments