It's been about five years since I first talked to you. I laid eyes on you walking to the parking lot after a school dance recital. I was friends with your sister at the time. Asking her who you were was the most nerve-wracking action I had done in so long. "That's my brother, Zach." At that moment, I knew I wanted to know everything about you. She was grossed out because you are her brother. That is how all sisters feel when a girl is interested in their brother.
The next day I added you on the good ol' Facebook. Instantly we were chatting away. You told me how last minute your prom date bailed. I wouldn't have done this for anyone else, I offered to step in. Unfortunately, it was the day before and too late. Not long after, Your lung collapsed. We had yet to speak in person, but that did not stop me from wanting to be by your side. I barely knew you. All I knew was I wanted to be nowhere else other than near you. You were the only person to understand every single feeling that ran through me. You were perfect. Well, at least to me. There is not a day that goes by where I do not think of you.
Remember the day of the earthquake in 2011? It was our first date. I could sit and tell every one of our stories. This article would turn into a novel and I will go to bed sad. Not just sad, unbelievably happy as well. I could not have asked for a better friend. God gave me the coolest person to hang out with. I am so thankful to have had you in my life. Thank you for carving pumpkins with me, talking me through the hardest times, for leaving dinner with people to come and make sure I was OK, for being my homecoming date. For making me laugh whenever I see any sort of rodent. Dude, seriously, you were the funniest person in my life and you left me here? There is nothing that compares to the heartbreak of losing someone. No one should pass away before their parents. No one should go to the funeral of their best friend. No one should be told they are going to make it to their 21st birthday, but only live to the third week of their 20th year. Everyone deserves to live life out until there are wrinkles all over and every hair had turned gray.
To my readers:
I pray that you are not walking up the steps that lead to your front door when you read that your best friend has passed. I hope you do not collapse on your living room floor because you can not walk anymore due to the pain. I hope you have someone there to hold you. I pray that you remember all of the good. At 21, my favorite place to hang out with my best friend should not be at his grave. I hope you remember that life flies by. As cliche as it is, you do not know when your last day will be.
Anyway, Zachary...thank you for being my person, my everything. You’ve got guys worried that I’ll leave them for you. (I talk about you like you never left me) I love you and miss you more with every day that passes. I will visit you later. Z swagg and lil m forever. 825.
To the families and friends who have lost a loved one:
I am so sorry for your loss. I really am. I too sit awake at night taking blame for the death, even though I had nothing to do with it. I cry randomly, wishing I could see them for just a moment more. Find comfort in something. I found mine in sitting at his grave and talking to him like I would over coffee when he was alive. Keep yourself occupied. Fake it til’ you make it. Do not forget to remember. Remember only the good. It will bring you joy in times of need. I promise.
To Mom: Lala and Nanny loved your silly self. You have the biggest heart in the world. They knew it too. They both keep an eye out on you. I’m sure Nanny and Zach are the two behind the karma between you and I. Also, thank you for that night at the front door when I could not make it any further into the house. Thanks for having Sara not bring it up to me until I was ready to talk to her. You really are the best. Love ya.
Zachary Philip George Meagher (Oct 8, 1993-Oct 29, 2013)
