It's holiday season, which means spending a lot of time with family. If you are like me, and come from, for a lack of better words, a really modern American family, spending time with family may be nerve-wracking. My modern family is a little messy- my parents are separated, but we all live in the same house. Home isn't necessarily a happy place for me anymore. When I'm there, I am in a constant state of anxiety. As you can imagine, my parents' separation sometimes feels like an elephant in the room. I'm always nervous that I'll say the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time, and spark a problem. As the oldest sibling, I feel like I need to stay guarded to protect my younger brothers. In effect, I never really feel like myself when I'm home.
Unfortunately, many families across America are similar to mine. The divorce rate has sky-rocketed and only continues to increase. A dysfunctional family is the modern family. To the person struggling in a modern American family, don't worry about going home for the holidays.
The holidays are a time to be with people you love and show them thanks. While it might be complicated, family is family. At the end of the day, they will be there for you no matter what. My mother is still the caring woman that shaped me into the young lady I am today, my father is still the wise and funny guy that always knows how to cheer me up when I'm sad, and my brothers are still the playful young boys that remind me not to take life so seriously. When you look at your family on the individual scale, you realize that despite the separation, your family is still the same. Family structure means very little when the people in it are nothing but amazing.
If you come from a modern family, don't feel despair over the holidays. Rather, think about how it built your character. For example, my parents' separation made me stronger and more mature. It made me more grateful for the love and support I receive from family and friends.
The situation taught me to find the silver-lining in everything. Even though we don't spend a lot of time together anymore, I somehow got closer with each member of my family. Weirdly enough, I learned, it's the hard times that bring people closer together. Despite the fact that it's deeply upsetting to see my family divide, and despite the fact that my family and I are in pain, their separation has given me a new perspective on life. I think of love and trust differently. Without my parents' separation I wouldn't have this new outlook on the world.
Actually, I wouldn't be the person I am today, and for that I am thankful.
