I know that we agreed that breaking up was a possibility from the very beginning. but we hoped it wouldn't happen. Like every relationship, we were optimistic about being together and truly believed that we wouldn't break up.

But when I realized we both weren't as happy as we made it seem, it hit me like a truck. Trust me when I say it was one of the hardest things I had to do. I was still in love with you, but I knew that you wouldn't be the one to realize what was going on. I was gonna have to be the strong one for the both of us. When I decided that it needed to happen, I had to act on it. It wasn't something I could fake. Of course that wouldn't be fair to me or you.

Your reaction was normal, as expected. I completely blindsided you and I could instantly see your pain. I saw the confusion, mourning and anger flash through your eyes as I told you. Your eyes were always my favorite, you showed your emotions through them, I could always tell what you were feeling just by a look. I held my breath and choked back tears until I had left.

Two weeks later I saw you.

You got a haircut, you cleaned up your facial hair, you had started working out more, and going out with friends again.

I had been telling you to do these things for months.

Where was this man when we were together? Why did it take me leaving to see him come out again? Was it my fault? Did I hold you back?

You posted more on social media. And then came the girls on Snapchat.

It felt like you were purposefully getting girls who had similar characteristics as me. Same personality, same hair color, same dietary restrictions (As ridiculous as it sounds. You made sure the caption stated it). You posted it on purpose. You wanted me to see it, and then deleted it once I did. I felt like I was going crazy believing that you were doing it just for me to see, it seemed so petty. But you were doing it.

You showed up on my doorstep wearing my favorite shirt and you had your hair styled the way I loved it. You simply gave me my things and went. I saw the pain again in your eyes. It was duller and you were hiding it better. But you treated it as if giving the things back and taking your own didn't mean anything. It was truly over.

I lost a handful of friends because of the breakup too. Everyone saw your pain because you made it so public but I kept mine buried and strictly with two friends. You told everyone how much it hurt. You constantly talked about how the bad days are bad and on the good days, they're still bad. No one could simply ignore your pain, it was obvious.

I want you to know that it's okay to have bad days. But don't make me the bad guy. You're still angry and upset. I understand that. I did it for the best and I truly believe eventually you'll see it too.

You're going to find a girl who will love you 10 times more than I ever could, and I want that for you.