Three Annoying Truths About Bars
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Three Annoying Truths About Bars


You’ve finally made it to the age of 21. All you have wanted to do since coming to college is go to the bars and now it's finally within reach. Before you put on your best clothes and fill your bathroom with hairspray, let me hit you with some knowledge. Here are the three annoying truths about bars.


Bars are not the same as clubs. As you walk into a bar, you won’t see crazy lights and lasers. You will not see bartenders resembling models with ponytails, juggling bottles like a clown at the circus, or scores of men and women grinding on each other to the beat of your favorite house mix.  Instead, what you will see are men and women standing around, talking, laughing and, possibly, awkwardly making out in front of others. Yes this is all fun and I love going to the bars. However, some will expect to rock out like Van Halen and dance the night away. 


Bathrooms. Sorry Travolta, the only fever you’ll be getting this Saturday night will be from our next topic, the bathrooms. Imagine the bathroom from the first Saw movie. Rusty walls, wet floor and two guys chained up with blood all over them.  Subtract the two guys and the creepy puppet, Jigsaw, on a tricycle and you've got a typical bar bathroom. In addition to the poor quality of the bathroom, it doesn’t help that the bar could be so overcrowded that walking out of the bathroom door is like exiting the limousine at the Golden Globes. Ryan Seacrest has a microphone in your face asking who you’re wearing as well as how relaxing your pee was.


Unbelievably long lines. Remember how I mentioned earlier how everyone is standing around?  Yeah well more than half of those people are simply standing in line to buy drinks.  It’s like going to the grocery store at the first of the month, except these people are buying hard liquor with their food stamps. After you’re done with your first drink, you’ll be sober by the time you get the next, which in turn makes you have to buy more drinks, thus spending more money.  It’s a complicated economic system we've got here, folks, and unless you plan on being a part of it, I would suggest showing up to the bar earlier or holding a good old pregame at your residence. Speaking of economics and money, how about those drink prices?


These are the three annoying truths about the bars.  The idea is not to sway you from joining your posse on Thursday night, but to simply make you aware.  When going to the bars, please remember the unwritten fourth annoying truth: don’t have too much fun at the bars and end up behind bars. 


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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