4. Being an in-between dependent. | The Odyssey Online
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Adulting

5 Things I Hate About Applying For Jobs

About that job application.

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5 Things I Hate About Applying For Jobs

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The job search is a simple one. There is a problem you can solve with your expertise. Someone would like to hire you to be their problem-solver. Everything makes sense up until you do not get the job. If you will not be working for this company, there is always that company, or the next one, or the one after that. Searching for a job is simple to do, harder still to realize. Here are some of the things I hate about finding the right job.

1. Call back limbo.

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Like an actor after a nervous audition, you, the dutiful and unemployed, wait for a similar call back. Except you are not nervous in the slightest. You are used to waiting so long, the nerves have gone flat. What is worse than not getting a call back is getting a call back with a buffered rejection. The backhanded compliments have numbed you from feeling any future expectations.You are a great candidate, they say, and a candidate you will remain, they might as well say. Employable is not a bad qualifier, but you have more going for you.

2. Reading people.

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You are not here to play 20 questions with every Tom, Dick, and Harry that meets you. You cannot psychoanalyze the root problem someone has within and throughout their personality. Playing to who someone is early on is a quick way to become discontent with who your true self is. Having to sell yourself is bad enough to get your foot in the door. Overselling yourself is a tragedy no one knows about except you. Never be someone else to appease someone else. No one likes the smell of anal retentive roses.

3. Following up.

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You have waited long enough and you still have not heard from the recruiters. You email or call them, leave a nice reminder of your recent application. The hiring process is still on hold. Okay, so be it. You learn not be bitter too soon and wait once more. After another fair hiatus, you send another eager reminder. Nothing new yet. The fact that you have to go out of your way to remind people you still exist is appalling. They hire you, they should show as much interest in you as you are in them. At this point, it might be more effective to stand inside their work place with a "hire me" sign and a resume taped to your chest.

4. Being an in-between dependent.

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When you are finding work, you tend to put yourself to work. Hiring yourself is a step towards building leadership and confidence. It is difficult keeping these qualities without recognition sometimes. Even harder, depending on others to keep you afloat on the market sea with jobs waiting to be fished and caught. But it is back to the docks where you keep casting your line for a better catch to come your way. Until then, you have some people who care to wind you up again.

5. Talking about myself.

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Who am I? Today? I do not have any vanity to muster a conversation about myself. Why disappoint anyone with an anecdote they will not be impressed with? Do not put me through the formalities only to subject me to a cordial rejection. I know I am more than what is written on my resume. I just cannot be bothered to recite my whole subconscious in the first five minutes of meeting you. Someone's expectations are illusions, but do not let that be the reason you start saying yes. Your corporate world has calculated lines and that is nature to you. I continue to see beyond the mirror.

Jobs rhymes with sobs.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

6 Unrealistic Expectations Society Has For Young Adults

Don't let the thesaurus-inspired vocabularies in our résumés fool you. We're actually just big kids.

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Well over four feet tall and 100 pounds in weight, many of us "young adults" of the world still consider ourselves children. Big, working, college-attending, beer-drinking children. We may live on our own, know how to cook noodles, and occasionally use a planner, but don't be fooled; the youthful tendencies that reside within us still make their way into our daily lives. From choosing to stay up until 3:00 a.m. playing video games on a school night to going out in 30 degree weather without a coat, we still make decisions that our parents and grandparents would shake their heads at in disappointment. So why are we expected to know exactly how to be a wise, professional, sensible adult? It's not that we're irresponsible (for the most part, anyway). It's that we are young, inexperienced, and still have the sought-after, enthusiastic mentality that we can do and be whatever we want, which has not yet been tarnished by the reality of the world. These are just a few of the unrealistic expectations that society has for young adults.

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1. You don't have to feel guilty about flirting with customers for tips (or just for shits and giggles).

2. You can be obnoxiously flirtatious with anyone you want. You are free to be that girl that flirts with everybody and makes 'em all smile (it's especially fun when the guy is as cute as Collin Jost). No shame.

3. Making random men nervous with your superior beauty and intense eye contact just for the hell of it is really amusing and empowering.

4. No one gives two poops if ya legs are hairy (your man shouldn't either but *Kermit the Frog meme* That's none of my business)

5. The toilet seat will remain down.

6. There's more money to spend on yourself.

7. There's always this secret butterfly in your tummy that marvels at the possibility that when you go out this weekend you're gonna meet someone super handsome/wonderful/prince-like and have this moment of dazzling dalliance.

8. Nothing is that serious...you can take it all with a grain of salt...you don't owe anybody anything.

9. You can dance with anyone and everyone...or no one (Hello frat boi w/ glasses, I see you).

10. You don't have to fluff anyone's ego but your own.

11. Free drinks and dinners from single guys (It's not taking advantage if they're offering; a girl's gotta eat).

12. You have more time to learn how to love and improve yourself rather than constantly pouring your energy into another person.

13. You don't have to sacrifice your cheesy Jen Aniston rom-coms and Gilmore Girls for his Fast and Furious/other dumb action movie featuring blonde that is only in the movie to supply a relationship to the male lead and to make him look more masculine/empowered in juxtaposition (In other words, you don't have to deal with a guy being a crabby Patty while you watch your cute movies).

14. You can daydream about what your future husband may be doing right now (and not get stressed/guilty out because you're not picturing your current boyfriend that's crazy about you as your future husband).

15. There is more time to be spent with your girlfriends.

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Characteristics of the astrological signs, explained through GIFS.

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Each sign is determined by the relative positions of celestial bodies to ourselves at our moment of birth, which is said to influence our personalities. Find your zodiac GIF below, based on the traits and characteristics provided by each sign.

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