"UGH, she's literally goals. Why does she have to be so perfect?"
This is one line that I hear oh so very often. Usually said in a group of teenage girls, looking at another, seemingly superior, female. My best friend and I use this phrase quite frequently when referring to Sadie Robertson. But lately, people in my sphere of influence have started to turn this phrase, and direct it towards me. Which is so strange, because I know for a fact that I would not consider myself "goals" or "perfect". That got me thinking, though. So often I have told my gal pals that they are perfect, or that they are goals. But whenever those phrases started to be turned back around on myself, I began to realize just how much weight those statements hold, and the pressure the put on the one who is on the receiving end.
Calling someone perfect, while it may seem like a kind thing to say, can actually be quite damaging to that person. For myself, whenever someone has called me perfect, I began to examine my life so closely and try to figure out why they would think those things. In doing this. I began to use my idea of perfection, and compare it to my own life. When my life didn't match the idea in my head, I begun to feel discontent in a way. I felt as if I had to meet a certain standard because people referred to me like this. It was a standard that I would never, and can never reach. Now, I actually regret ever calling anyone "goals" or "perfect", because I would never wish to cause this kind of mindset and stress. Yes, I realize that some girls may very much appreciate being called perfect, but I have a feeling that many would begin to feel like I started to. As if they have to constantly measure up to their title.
I realize that my friends think highly of me, and were simply trying to show me kindness through their words, but honestly, why do we resort to calling people perfect? There are so many other characteristics that we could point out in someone, that I believe wouldn't make them feel as if they had to measure up to some unreachable standard. Instead, why not call people: Brave. Strong. Kind. Caring. Athletic. Humble. Godly. Servant-hearted. Free. Forgiven. Loved. Cherished. Chosen.
I could go on and on with words that I believe should used in replacement of "perfect", but I think y'all get the point. Please, don't think I am bashing anyone who uses "perfect" regularly, because that is the last thing I would ever do. Remember, I've only just recently realized the weight this word carries. But, I do hope that maybe this will prompt you to compliment people more specifically in the future. It honestly brings me so much joy whenever people point out specific things they see in me and enjoy about me, it's much more of a compliment to me than "perfect" could ever be.
*Que "Nobody's Perfect" by Hannah Montana*
