To the family member who walked out of my life,
It’s taken me some time to realize this, but I forgive you. You didn’t want anything to do with our family anymore and that hurt me. Do you realize how hard it was for two parents to explain to their young daughter that I couldn’t see you anymore? There you were a part of my life and then you were gone. You did the damage.
It was difficult at first, but it has grown easier with time. I asked a lot of questions; some that could be answered some that couldn’t. I knew it was something that would be learned as I grew older.
I went through a phase where I thought you were selfish and doing it all for yourself. I was angry and never wanted anything to do with you again. When I ran into you for the first time in years, I wanted to turn and run. I was scared at the thought of what you might’ve become.
I’ve wondered what you think when you’ve seen my face in the newspaper for accomplishing something great or seen an article I’ve written. I’ve wondered what you would’ve said to me after I graduated high school and moved on to college. I’ve wondered what family gatherings would’ve been like if you were a part of them. I’ve wondered what it would’ve been like to have a growing relationship. It’s all just a fantasy that can never be filled.
By reflecting on this and our nonexistent relationship, I feel as though I have matured; though I cannot say the same for you. At this moment while I am typing this, I am not sad, but at peace. I can finally close this door on my life because of my reflection. Is there a future where I will open this back up? Possibly. As I mature and grow older, there have and will be more people a part of my life who fill this void.