Guys, what kind of girls are you going to run into on your next night out?
Girl's Night Out can be the most fun, entertaining, carefree highlight of any girl's week...but it can also be a recipe for udder destruction. I mean, what can go wrong with a few margaritas, high heels and a group of gossiping women? Oh, right - everything. Gentlemen, the next time you're at the bar, beware of these five types of drunk ladies you will probably definitely run into.
1.The Sloppy Drunk: This is the classic category. Most of us girls have had our rougher nights at the local bar, but this drunk girl has a rough night every night. You know the type: the one that walks like a newborn polar bear in her 6-inch heels (and by the end of the night, that polar bear is bound to fall down more than just once). The one that thinks she's Beyoncé on the dance floor after her fourth Cranberry Vodka (the only thing she'll be is Drunk in Love with is the bouncer when she gets kicked out). Or the one that doesn't have a volume below Mariah Carey after a couple of shots. She can never seem to get a good grip on her drink and whenever a group of her "besties" walk in, prepare yourself: your ear drums may never hear the same again after the deafening squeals start. The art of avoiding this girl is nearly impossible, simply because ladies tend to lean toward this kind of drunk more than any of the others. Good luck navigating through these girls all night.
2. The Confrontational Drunk: Hell hath no fury like a drunk girl (who thinks she might have been) scorned. Not only does this girl get a little delusional after a few drinks, she gets downright abusive. Don't bump into this girl, say a name from across the bar that sounds even remotely like this girls and most certainly do not under any circumstances tell her to calm down (this is just begging for a death threat). She'll come at you with wildly waving arms, slurred insults and the need to end every loud sentence with a few hand claps. It's unusual for this girl to make it out of the bar without a cat fight (and by cat-fight, I mean exclusively hair pulling and name calling), spreading a few nasty rumors about the girl that "looked at her weird," or pouring a drink on some unfortunate passerby as she makes her exit.
3. The Promiscuous Drunk: This one might be the worst. (Or maybe the best, depending on what kind of guy you are). This drunk girl turns into a full scale predator after just a few margaritas, and Lord help you if your boyfriend is the hot piece of meat idly standing at the bar. The Promiscuous Drunk loses all restraint when she drinks and morphs into the female Tiger Woods going for a hole in one by the end of the night (pun very much intended). Relationship status and attractiveness are not her top concerns tonight, and 99.9% of the time she's going to leave an angry female in her wake. Gentlemen, watch out for this drama bomb, unless you're a Promiscuous Drunk yourself, that is. In that case, you two were made for each other.
4. The Lightweight: At least this girl is a cheap date! A couple of beers and one tequila shot will do, but be prepared to take care of this drunk girl for the remainder of the night. You almost have to admire her; she always get irreversibly intoxicated, all while never losing a cent from her bank account. However, you have to wonder if you've taken your 13-year-old sister to the bar instead of a 22-year-old young woman. Gentlemen, you may save some money on this drunk girl, but you might regret it when she's passed out on the couch after an hour of pre-gaming.
5. The Inconvenient Drunk: Wait, what does this even mean? It means this girl is always in the way, nowhere to be found, doing the wrong thing at the wrong time, you name it. She uses the bathroom more than a toddler on a road trip, demands Taco Bell at 12:30 in between bar hops (and it has to be the one with the cute window guy, ten miles across town) and never fails to go missing by the end of the night (most of the time you'll find her passed out somewhere, missing a heel). She's the queen of one-upping your best bar story and can always start an argument with exactly the wrong people. She has the capability of making you feel like everyone in the bar might want to curb-stomp you hate you for bringing her around. Guys, while this drunk girl can be the most fun and tolerable out of the categories listed, she can also be a high maintenance hassle.
Gentlemen, this has been a Public Service Announcement brought to you by yours truly, a knowledgeable female. That being said, trust the tips and be aware of these five girls on your next night out!
