Indecision. Lack of confidence. These two conditions combined have been the bane of many potential successes or achievements. They creep along within the shadows of every possible path to take, or choice to be made. They whisper in our ears of doubt, and undesirable hypothetical ways, scheming to steer us astray. If they manage to gnaw their way in, a skill at which they are quite proficient, they will quickly strip away the ability to act, to choose, to take the leap, or follow our hearts.
Indecision and a lack of confidence are powerful enemies. For those who suffer most from their oppressive presence, life itself can feel like a constant battle. A battle that seems will never be won. A drawn out battle with many casualties along the way. Yet though the fight is real and the fight is long, we must never give up or admit defeat. We can strike back, forcing those creeping shadows to cower and retreat, freeing us to confidently decide.
I suffer from indecision and a lack of confidence. As a writer, I battle with these conditions for every sentence I compose. As a father, with every scolding or school day hug goodbye. As a man, with every career opportunity or friendship missed; every word misspoken. I often use the term, “Talked myself out of it”, which is exactly what I so often have done. Yet, I have talked myself into many life changing choices as well, many of them quite recently. The choice to return to school for my degree being chief among them, which became a direct pathway to writing for you now. It seems fitting somehow, to share a poem I’d written about indecision and a lack of confidence. This poem relates just a few ways that these conditions have weighed heavy on me. But it's a poem that lifts that weight, which inspires me to enter into that epic battle, armed with a shred of confidence that I can win it and make that powerful choice. It is my sincere hope that if you too suffer from indecision and a lack of confidence, that you may find inspiration to overcome it from this poem.
“I Can Talk Myself Out of Anything”
Life is an endless stream of choices,
A struggle to balance the inner voices.
Unknowing of what the path may bring,
I can talk myself out of anything.
When one is little, it isn’t that hard,
Should I stay inside, or play in the yard?
Each would be fun… no, I’d rather sing!
I can talk myself out of anything.
They are my friend, of this I believe,
So why do I feel like they so often leave
Me hanging and waiting, the phone’s going to ring?
I can talk myself out of anything.
Let’s paint the walls, she says with delight,
But choosing a color yields nothing but fright.
Indecision’s crushed her spirit, the walls stay boring,
I can talk myself out of anything.
Would it be wise to spend all this money?
If it’s what you really want, of course it is, honey.
But what if this happens, and changes everything?
I can talk myself out of anything.
Child, my child, the choices you make,
Force me to punish, for your own sake.
Then you hug and you smile, my anger is fleeting,
I can talk myself out of anything.
Please, please daddy, let’s go to the park!
How about later, before it gets dark?
Now it’s probably too crowded, no room on the swing,
I can talk myself out of anything.
I’m a good writer, I should search for some work,
But what if I fail, and look like a jerk?
I can totally do this! Oh, who am I kidding?
I can talk myself out of anything.
Go back to school, but what of the debt?
A future investment you will not regret.
But what if years later, I’m still a nothing?
I can talk myself out of anything.
Yet a choice must be made, a leap must be taken,
To hell with what if’s, resolve be unshaken!
This is your dream, chase it with feeling,
Don’t talk myself out of everything…
You’ve taken that leap, you’re now on the course,
Of hopeful excitement, free of remorse.
Your future is bright, you’ve accomplished something,
In life, love and family… I can talk myself into anything!
