Take Your Fallen Friends On Adventures With You

Take Your Fallen Friends On Adventures With You

They may have departed on their new journey, but I bet they'd love to join you on yours.

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There's no easy way to say goodbye to your loved ones — if you get a chance to say goodbye at all. I've come to learn the hard way that death touches us at the most random times. My hometown feels especially riddled with this hardship. For such a small population, we've lost a large amount of souls. Four of them were my friends.

Since I can be pretty non-confrontational and I'm definitely pretty weird, I like to avoid saying goodbye to those I've lost.

Personally, I believe in reincarnation. For a long time I have believed that our spirits remain on this plane until the "karmic circle," or whatever it is, is complete. Then perhaps we move on to some higher being. I don't know all the details.

All I know is that energy cannot be created or destroyed — so the energy of my fallen friends still exists here.

With this mindset, I like to "bring my friends" on adventures with me. I don't contact them via ouija board or seance or any of that spooky stuff. I'm honestly too afraid to try. Like I said, I'm non-confrontational. I fear they'll have a message for me that I won't want to hear.

What I mean by bringing them on adventures is that I sort of "channel" them whenever I am somewhere I know they would enjoy. I close my eyes and picture their face, imagine their voice, and really focus on their energy. I speak to them. I invite them to hang out with me.

And I feel them.

I felt Brady at the Kendrick Lamar concert. He and I had planned on going in 2017, just a few months before his passing. I fulfilled our wish this spring.

Brady CastroDevon Bennett

I feel Littia in almost every spiritual bookshop I enter, especially when I pick up a Wiccan book. She used to offer to do spells for me.

Littia SchwarzLittia Schwarz

I feel Hanna whenever I pick up a volleyball. I like to think she's playing games in the sand wherever she is. I know she is.

Hanna Cashell, Alexis Johnson, Devon Bennett, Tamiah Mitchell, Adam SofeAlexis Johnson

I feel Jadin almost everywhere. I channel him the most at really bougie stores and restaurants. He always had a taste for the finer things in life.

Jadin Bell and Devon BennettDevon Bennett

Anytime you're somewhere that really, deeply makes you remember your fallen friends, just give them a call. You'd be surprised how good it feels to hang out with them again. Just like old times.

Cover Image Credit:

Kinzi Rasmussen

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To The Girl Who Always Feels Left Out

Maybe next time...
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To the girl who always feels left out,

Girl, let me just tell you, I know the feeling. It feels as though my whole life, I have been that girl. You know that feeling when you are standing in a group of people and someone comes up and asks everyone to go to lunch in that group... But you?

Or they make it even worse by saying "Oh, I guess you can come too." You guess I can come to?

No, thank you.

At that point, you feel like the only reason you are being invited is that they feel like they have to. Which more than likely is actually the case. What about when you ask your friend to hang out and she can't because she will be doing homework all night? However, an hour later, you see her with your other best friend. Oh okay cool, sorry for bothering you with my friendship.

You know you are the girl who is always left out when you are the designated "photographer" or you have to specifically ask if you can take a picture with them because they are obviously done taking pictures and did not want one with you.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who 'Float' Between Friend Groups

We all know "Hey, will you take this picture of us?" all too well. Am I right, ladies? Oh yeah, it is fine. I hate being in pictures. I definitely hate taking pictures to remember this wonderful time I'm having.

What about when you and your friends discuss doing something later during the week and you ask about it but "It's probably not happening anymore." Then you check and would you look at that, your "friends" are having fun without you.

Shocker.

Oh but don't worry about it, I had things to do anyway. You know, clean the house, work on homework that is due next week, binge-watch The Office for the third time this week. Fun stuff. Oh and better yet when you see your friends are hanging out without you. The next time they see you, they talk about how much fun they had.

Oh yes, please tell me about how much fun you had without me. I totally enjoy hearing about how "I totally missed out" and "I should have come." Well, an invite would have been well appreciated. But maybe next time, right? Wrong.


Yeah, I know what you are thinking, "Wow this girl is being so petty." Well if you are thinking that, then you obviously do not know the feeling. And to think about it, you probably are not the one in the friend group who is being left out. So think about who that person is and make them feel included next time. It would be greatly appreciated. You do not know how much of a difference it could make.

Yes, I know everyone feels left out sometimes, but time after time, it starts to get really old. Then after you have to start inviting yourself to hang out with people, you realize well since they are not inviting me themselves, maybe they don't want me here. And then surprisingly, you stop hanging out with them. Hmmm, I wonder what could've possibly happened.


Yes, I know, most people do not do this on purpose. I am sure I have even done it once or twice without realizing it, and I am truly sorry.

From one left out girl to another,

Good Luck

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I'm Not The Person I Was In High School And I'm Not Sorry I Changed

I'm sorry, the old me can't come to the phone right now.

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If those who knew me in high school hung out with me now, they probably wouldn't recognize me. If my friends from college hung out with me around two years ago, they probably wouldn't recognize me. It's safe to say I've changed... a lot. I definitely find the change to be for the better and I couldn't be happier with the person I've become.

In high school, I would sit at home every night anxiously waiting to leave and go out. Now, honestly, going out is the last thing I want to do any night of the week. While everyone in college is at a fraternity party or at the bars, I prefer to sit at home on the couch, watching Netflix with my boyfriend. That's an ideal night for me and it is exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do a couple of years ago. There's nothing wrong with going out and partying, it's just not what I want to do anymore.

I craved attention in high school. I went to the parties and outings so I could be in Snapchats and photos, just so people would know I was there. I hung out with certain groups of people just so I could say I was "friends" with so-and-so who was so very popular. I wanted to be known and I wanted to be cool.

Now, I couldn't care less. I go to the bars or the parties if I really feel like it or if my friends make me feel bad enough for never going anywhere that I finally decide to show up. It's just not my scene anymore and I no longer worry about missing out.

If you could look back at me during my junior year of high school, you probably would've found me searching for the best-ranked party schools and colleges with the best nearby clubs or bars. Now, you can find me eating snacks on the couch on a Friday night watching the parties through other peoples' Snapchats.

Some may say that I'm boring now, and while I agree that my life is a little less adventurous now than it was in high school, I don't regret the lifestyle changes I've made. I feel happier, I feel like a better person, I feel much more complete. I'm not sorry that I've changed since high school and I'm not sorry that I'm not living the typical "college lifestyle." I don't see anything wrong with that life, it's just not what makes me happy and it's not what I want to do anymore.

I've become a different person since high school and I couldn't be happier about it. I have a lot that's contributed to the change, but my boyfriend definitely was the main factor as he showed me that staying in can be a million times better than a night out. My interests and my social cravings have completely transitioned into that of an 80-year-old grandma, but I don't regret it.

Change doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, it can bring a lot more happiness and comfort. The transition from high school to college is drastic, but you can also use it as an opportunity to transition from one lifestyle to another. I don't regret the lifestyle flip I made and I couldn't be less apologetic about it.

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