The pentagram is usually associated with the devil and the Dark Arts. The symbolism of the shape is also associated with the five wombs of Jesus Christ and the five elements of nature, earth, wind, fire, water, and spirit. While there are nefarious practices carried out to summon evil entities, why should the shape be excluded from summoning good things? If you could someone your friends at anytime, anywhere, just by collecting five things that represent them, that would be better than a text or a FaceTime. If you wanted to summon me, here are the five things you will need.
1. Art.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but this art is for my eyes only. I am not picky with art, it just cannot be a stick figure you drew on a napkin. I am talking outsider art, museum pieces older than the museum art. Art that people look at and wonder why it cost the price that it did. If you do not have to pull off a heist under the security blanket of night, then you are not using your artist's eye to summon me. If you can get any pieces made by illustrator Joseph Mugnaini or painter Charles Lees, for example, I will be summoned in no time.
2. Typewriter.
While I am partial to Smith-Corona typewriters, I am open to other makes and models. None of them can be electric, that would just make no sense for a spiritual awakening. Manual machines only please and make sure that ribbon has plenty of ink. Bring some sheets of paper and watch the keys catapult the typebars onto the page with the power of possession. I will write you an account of the inter-dimensional and metaphysical nature of my travels between space and time that it took for me to get to you. One manifesto in mere minutes, coming hot off the press!
3. Sandwich.
Breaking the laws of physics will make anyone hungry. I will require a sandwich, but not just any couple slices of bread and fillings and toppings. If you bring heaven between a pair of buns, makes sure it is a Publix Tailgater sub with Pepperjack cheese and Spinach or their Italian sub, hold the mayo. Another option I will accept is the Vito sub from Jimmy John's, but instead of tomatoes, substitute them for the hot cherry peppers. Wheat bread, toasted, and make it a whole sub. I might not save the rest for later, but do not let that dismay you from completing this life or death (I mean important) lunch order.
4. Pin-ups.
I know what you are thinking: would not this be categorized as art? You have a point there, but so do I. We all can appreciate beauty, even if it is unrealistic and completely Rubenesque. Call it tasteless if you like, my palette does not have or need the same taste buds your eyes have. Let us just say that the powers that be take their time sometimes in between realms of existence. When I have to wait, I would like to have some femme fatale look back at me.
5. Record player.
I am old school. If we are going to summon myself right, you have to have a record player. To set the mood, bring a few vinyls with you. Jazz greats Bobby Caldwell and Joe Jackson should keep my interest throughout the ceremony. When we are all relaxed and feeling smooth with the groove, crank the volume and play Queen's Jazz album next. It must be played last and it must be played and heard. If you play it on your phone, I will know that too.
How would you be summoned? What would summon you?
A Complete List Of The National Days in August That You'll Need To Celebrate This Year
Mark these on your calendars!
August is a month full of celebration (I mean, it is my birthday month...)
BUT there are also tons of national days to celebrate too!!! Here's a list of my favorites!
August 1st: National Girlfriends Day
GiphyIT'S GIRL'S NIGHT!!!
August 2nd: National Coloring Book Day
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Who doesn't love to color a nice picture?
August 3rd: National Grab Some Nuts Day
GiphyI hope this means almonds and walnuts, not the other ones....
August 4th: National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day
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Every cookie needs it's own national day, so this one is for chocolate chip!
August 5th: National Underwear Day
GiphyUnderwear is a very important garment that deserves a day for gratitude
August 6th: National Wiggle Your Toes Day
GiphyMake those little piggies dance!
August 7th: National Raspberries N' Cream Day
GiphyOne of my favorite flavors!
August 8th: National Sneak Some Zucchini Into Your Neighbor's Porch Day
GiphyI'm not sure why this is a thing but I'm going to do it
August 9th: National Book Lover's Day / National Rice Pudding Day
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I love a good rice pudding as much as I love a good book, so why not combine the two?
August 10th: National S'mores Day
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This year the 10th falls on a Friday... hopefully the weather is nice because Fridays are great nights to have bonfires!!
August 11th: National Presidential Joke Day
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Isn't our government system just one big joke on its own already?
August 12th: National Vinyl Record Day
GiphyTime to pull out the turn table and some of my favorite LPs!
August 13th: National Filet-Mignon Day
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GAINZ
August 14th: MY BIRTHDAY / National Creamsicle Day
GiphyMy birthday is the more important one, here
August 15th: National Relaxation Day
GiphyYeah, I'm going need a day to relax after celebrating my 21st birthday...
August 16th: National Roller Coaster Day / National Tell a Joke Day
GiphyRoller coasters and jokes - two fun things to celebrate in one day!
August 17th: National Thrift Shop Day
GiphyI'm gonna' pop some tags
August 18th: National Fijita Day
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I'm feeling a fajita night - with Margaritas, too, of course!
August 19th: National Soft Ice Cream Day
GiphyAccurate GIF of me at the soft serve machine in the dining hall
August 20th: National Radio Day
GiphyDoes anyone even listen to the radio anymore?
August 21st: National Senior Citizens Day
GiphySome old people are crotchety but most of them are pretty cool if you take the time to talk with them!
August 22nd: National Tooth Fairy Day
GiphyTrue story: my dad ruined the whole tooth fairy thing after I lost my first tooth trying to tangle his Nascar shirt in my ceiling fan and tell me that the tooth fairy was a Jimmy Johnson fan
August 23rd: National Sponge Cake Day
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I'll celebrate with a Twinkie (or two or three)
August 24th: National Waffle Day
GiphyTEAM WAFFLE ALL THE WAY
August 25th: National Banana Split Day
c1.staticflickr.comI'm a fan of all things ice cream so I support this
August 26th: National Dog Day
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I'm more of a cat person myself but dogs can be kind of cool too
August 27th: National Just Because Day
GiphyYou don't need a reason to do anything - do it "just because"
August 28th: National Bow Tie Day
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I love bow ties
August 29th: National Chop Suey Day
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I honestly don't even know what chop suey is but it looks pretty good to me!
August 30th: National Toasted Marshmallow Day
GiphyI like my marshmallows burnt to a crisp
August 31st: National Trail Mix Day
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Don't be the prick that only eats the M&Ms... the raisins are good, too!