Aries: Sarah Lynn
You like to have fun and are very adventurous. Even when everything seems to be going wrong in your life, you still find a way to make it enjoyable.
However, you're very childish in the sense that you want everything to go exactly the way you want. And when it doesn't, your outbursts are unbearable. Please don't pull a Sarah Lynn and stab yourself in order to get your way.
Taurus: Emily
You're an extremely dependable person, making you a great friend. You're patient, which allows you to usually reach your goals. Your stubbornness helps accomplish your goals.
However, you tend to be a bit possessive over those in your life, especially your romantic interests. Aka, Emily basically asking Todd to change his sexuality so she can be with him instead of compromising herself.
Gemini: Rutabaga Rabitowitz
You are one of the least boring people around as you are so full of life. You're always energetic and quick on your feet (subtle rabbit joke).
However, your tendency to gossip and superficiality make people think you're two-faced. You're a little unpredictable, in relationships and in your work. Maybe don't try and start a romantic relationship with a coworker to further your career while you have a wife at home (I'm looking at you Rutabaga).
Cancer: Charlotte Moore
You fit the mom role to a tee. You're caring and nurturing to all of those you care about, knowing how to take care of them almost better than they do themselves.
However, when you fail you often get overly emotional and cause those around you to be uncomfortable. You're prone to moodiness, and the littlest thing will cause you to get deep into your feels. Although these overreactions can be justified sometimes, if we all remember the awkward Charlotte-Bojack confrontation at the end of Season 2 (big yikes).
Leo: Wanda Pierce
You're a born leader. You're a people person and like to keep busy, being very ambitious in your career. Due to your friendliness and creativity, you often are successful in reaching your goals. However, you won't let anything get in the way of your goals or happiness. You look out for yourself first and have no problem calling people out who bring you down.
Like Wanda, you don't have a problem calling people out if someone is really crushing your vibe.
Virgo: Princess Carolyn
You're extremely intelligent and driven. When someone has a problem, you're the person they want on their side. You're career driven, and your focus on your career usually results in success.
Due to this drive, however, you're a perfectionist and are never truly satisfied with who you are because every little detail matters to you. You can be over demanding of others in the quest to reach this perfection. Hey Princess Carolyn, it's okay to take a break from your job ya know.
Libra: Hollyhock Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero-Robinson-Zilberschlag-Hsung-Fonzerelli-McQuack
You are very balanced, peaceful, and sociable. You're a natural mediator, and do a great job at making sure everyone around you is happy. People love to be around you, as you are a very calm and soothing presence.
But in your goal to make sure everyone is happy, you often let people take advantage of you. You won't hesitate to risk your own happiness for the happiness of others. Like Hollyhock, you are a sweetheart and a light in everyone's lives. But don't forget that your happiness matters, too.
Scorpio: Ana Spanakopita
I really didn't want Ana Spanakopita to be the character designated as a Scorpio since I'm a Scorpio and cannot stand her, but the facts don't lie. On the plus side, you are intensely passionate and make everyone around you feel alive with your presence. You're ambitious and make sure you always get things done, along with basically being a human lie detector.
This is a double-edged sword, causing you to have deep trust issues. You're always suspicious of others. You're prone to jealousy and will resort to manipulation to ensure you get what you want. Your temper is the one thing people fear most about you.
Sagittarius: Mr. Peanutbutter
You're the life of the party. You're the most enjoyable person to be around, causing those around you to naturally gravitate toward you. You're independent and full of energy, always seeking out your next great adventure.
Due to your pleasure-seeking personality, you tend to get bored easily and ignore your responsibilities. You tend to not be consistent, quick to drop something if it no longer brings you pleasure. Not every day is a party, Mr. Peanutbutter, you have to be an adult sometimes.
Capricorn: Bojack Horseman
You have big goals and plans for yourself. You have no problem tackling whatever obstacle comes your way. Like Bojack's quest for fame, you know you're destined for something more and will not stop until you reach your true potential.
However, you tend to be insecure in the pursuit of your goals. This insecurity then breeds pessimism, and your emotions suffer. You appear emotionally detached from those around you, and your goal-driven nature gives off the image that you're egotistical and arrogant. WE JUST WANT TO LOVE YOU BOJACK STOP MAKING IT SO HARD.
Aquarius: Diane Nguyen
You have a large humanitarian drive, wanting to make the world a better place in any way you can. You're intelligent and always have a new project up your sleeve. You tend to be stubborn once you set your mind to something and always believe your way is the right way. You're not born to follow, and often seem rebellious while pursuing unconventional projects that you deem important. You don't think with your heart, but with your mind, making you seem cold and distant to those in your life.
Diane is the absolute worst, but I have faith for all you other Aquarius' out there.
Pisces: Todd Chavez
You are the most imaginative sign. Your creativity and imagination are captivating, even if those around you don't completely understand your artistic ideas (Todd's Disneyland looked like a hot mess, but how many of us could say we could pull that off?). You're a dreamer, and I think I can speak for all the signs saying we would do anything to explore what goes on inside your head. You're compassionate and put your creative abilities to use in helping others.
Although you have so many great ideas: if your plan strays even slightly you'll just drop it altogether. This shows your lazy and weak-willed side, you are easily deferred if things don't go your way or appear too difficult. My word of advice: push through it so someone can finally invent a smoodie.
