Despite Being Offered, I Can't Bring Myself To Be A Sugar Baby
If it works for you, great, but I just can't do it.
Last March, SeekingArrangment, the world's largest sugar daddy dating site released a study of the top 20 schools which had the largest sugar baby growth. My school, the University of Central Florida, or UCF for us Knights, ranked No. 2. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the terms "sugar daddy" and "sugar baby," a sugar daddy is typically an older and financially stable man who "lavishes gifts on a young woman in return for her company or sexual favors." A sugar baby is a person, typically women, who benefit from these gifts.
When this study's findings began circulating throughout my friends, I wasn't too surprised. First off, UCF is one of the largest schools in the nation, and Orlando is a cosmopolitan city. Why should it be so hard to believe that some women are turning to these types of relationships to pay for their tuition? Another reason I'm not surprised is that I have received multiple requests through my Instagram whether or not I would be interested in this type of "relationship."
I was terrified when the first man "slid into my DM's'" offering to spoil me. The message read, "Hi, I am a well off man looking for a baby to spoil," or something along those lines. Since then, there have been plenty of other men who offered me a weekly allowance to be their sugar baby. I think the most unnerving part of their offer is they don't even know me. They are offering to pay me money based solely on how I look. I have always taken pride in the fact that I have a brain. If a man reached out wanted some sort of witty text exchange and was willing to discuss world events and the human society, although I would say no, I'd be more willing to consider the request since they are taking my brain into account.
I asked some of my friends their thoughts on UCF's new ranking and some weren't surprised. Others made incredibly funny comments about how it increased their school pride by 300% or asked how this was a thing and where they sign up. Some were disappointed, but in the end, there was a general consensus that no one was surprised. The most interesting answers, however, were people's thoughts on sugar babies.
Some people shared they have friends who have been sugar babies and have learned a lot from older men, who have taken on a mentorship role while maintaining a level of respect for their sugar babies. Others pointed out we live in a culture that advocates "sex work is still work." Why should we question whether or not it is okay for a man to pay a woman to have dinner with him? This same friend pointed out that her concern is for the women's safety, which I think is a very important point to bring up.
Despite offers I know I cannot be a sugar baby. One, I don't want to and thankfully don't need to be. There have been older men who've approached me while working at a job, struck up a conversation, handed me their card, and told me to call them for dinner. A sweet gesture, but something I always refuse.
Remember, not all sugar baby relationships are sexual, and if they are, why is it our business? Whatever you do, approach the situation carefully and consider all the possibilities. Although a man might not be seeking a sexual relationship, they might have fetishes that make you uncomfortable. Speak-up and do what feels right for you.
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