The Paradox Of My Life As An Introvert
The love-hate relationship of talking to people.
From the perspective of an introvert, going out and talking to random strangers sounds like the most stressful situation I could ever be put in.
Small talk and large amounts of people are enough to make my stomach knot and my palms start sweating. Probably TMI, but it's the truth.
Yet, at the same time, I love listening to people and hearing their stories.
Honestly, I am very confused by the love-hate relationship I have with talking to people.
I am an introvert at heart, but sometimes I feel so energized after having a good, genuine conversation with someone. I am passionate about hearing people's stories and listening to their different takes on life.
One of the hardest things I've had to learn in my life is that I have to step out of my comfort zone.
Sometimes it's easy to set up camp and just hang out where life is easy and comfortable. It's especially easy to hang around people that I am comfortable with when I am comfortable with it.
But life does not always function in that fashion.
Starting a conversation with someone can be one of the hardest parts of being an introvert. Awkward eye contact, polite small talk about the weather and who knows what else. Just talking about talking to people is enough to me want to shrink back into myself.
However, I know that you have to push past the awkwardness to form relationships.
As believers, we are called to go out and share the gospel. This (obviously) involves talking with people. So, in many areas of my life, I've had to push past my social anxieties in order to be obedient to God's mission for my life.
It's so often said that living your life in a way that reflects Christ is enough. But this is a lie. Words are absolutely necessary when it comes to proclaiming the work of the Lord and His gospel.
So, as much as my introverted-self would like to believe that living a "good" life is enough to point people to Christ, I've come to recognize that this is not the case.
The more the Lord pushes me out of my comfort zone and the more He pushes me to talk to new people, the more I'm realizing the value of talking to strangers.
In many ways, I am still very much introverted, but I also acknowledge the necessity of proclaiming the gospel to anyone and everyone that will listen. And talking to people is part of that.
For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek (Romans 1:16 ESV).
Again and again, the Lord is reminding me of His faithfulness by pushing me further and further from my comfort zone. Most of the time I experience His faithfulness through having genuine and deep conversations with people I was pushed to talk to in the first place.
If you're an introvert like me, don't discount your ability to talk to people--especially if you are a believer. Take a step outside the bubble of your comfort zone and have a conversation with someone new. You might just be surprised to see where the conversation will lead.
