Dear Depression Without End,
A letter to my never ending depression.
Dear my never-ending depression. How you make it so difficult for me to even want to get out of bed on most days. If only I could make you stop, make you go away, close that void in which you leave in me.
Day by day, night by night. It's a continuous fight with you. I have learned to cope with you and come to terms that you will always be right there waiting for me to break. However, I am choosing to not hide the darkness that overtakes me at times now.
I am gaining my life back from you. Pushing forward even when it seems as if I'm being held back by your unseen forces.
I face you every day when I look in the mirror, face you when I look down at my thighs and see all the stretch marks that make me feel low about myself. I face you every day when I go out into the world, hoping that by keeping a smile on my face then no one will notice the pain you make me feel inside.
The pain that you cause in me.
Depression, you don't always win. I am having more and brighter and happier days. I will not let you hold me back any longer. You showered my life for too long. Made a whole year go by in a blink of an eye, and I feel as if I did nothing but stay in my bed and inside looking at the same four walls all the time because of you.
I no longer will let you weigh me down. There is too much for me to do in this life to allow you to keep having this unshakable hold on me.
Day by day I fight against you and will until the day I no longer fear you.
I know you will always be there, in some sense or size for the rest of my life. However, I am choosing to overcome you as best as I can.
I don't want to be drowning in you anymore, I want to be able to float on a wave of happiness and bliss from now on.
So, my dear depression, this is me fighting back against you and taking a grip on my own life now.
