There Is A Difference Between Self-Care And Selfishness
Getting a Caramel Macchiato and taking a nap is not self-care, it's a reward that should be used in moderation, not on a regular basis.
Your health and well-being are very important, but so are your responsibilities and relationships. Ditching plans with your friends so you can sit on your phone and listen to music does not qualify as self-care, that is selfishness. Calling out of work because you "just weren't feeling up to it" is selfish.
Our generation has glamorized "Putting yourself first". Yes, you are important and you are in control of your life, but you should not be your first and only priority. You need to make time for the people important to you and the responsibilities you chose to take on.
Humans are social creatures, they are not made to be alone. Everyone needs their space, but you should also strive to be inclusive of the people around you. "Cutting off a toxic person" is not always healthy. More often than not, people don't stop and think about why that person is toxic. Cutting someone off may temporarily make you feel better, but you're ultimately harming another person because you're choosing not to resolve conflict and be accommodating of their needs.
Granted, every situation is unique and there are legitimate reasons to remove people from your life. Overall, punishing someone with your absence is not self-care, it is usually pure selfishness and unnecessary pride.
Taking care of your body is important, but that does not constitute sleeping all day and never want to go out. People usually lack energy because they eat incorrectly and don't exercise. Getting a Caramel Macchiato and taking a nap is not self-care, it's a reward that should be used in moderation, not on a regular basis.
More often than not, bad habits become "self-care". These bad habits include: indulging in sugar on a constant basis, ignoring people, disregarding responsibilities, and putting yourself first in every situation.
No one is perfect, everyone has something. However, something you must keep in mind is that the world does not revolve around you. You are one out of seven billion people, you can't have everything and not everyone is going to like you. Take care of your body, mind, and spirit, and treat all people with kindness.