Ladies, Don't Drive Yourself Crazy Trying NOT To Be The 'Crazy Girlfriend'
Because if it bothers you enough to bring it up, it is important.
What is the most important part of a relationship?
Is it love? Communication? Trust?
There are a lot of important things when it comes to maintaining healthy relationships. You can love a person all you want, but without communication and trust, it means nothing.
Without trust, there often comes a time in relationships where someone begins being "crazy."
"Crazy" stems from feelings of insecurity and distrust. I truly believe people are never inherently possessive, jealous or the dreaded "crazy."
Something or someone created a feeling within them, causing them to think they are inadequate. They act out by being "crazy."
Some people ask a thousand questions to their partners, some people check their partners' activities online and some people even check their partners' locations.
Now, do I feel like that behavior is OK? No, I don't.
However, do I think that behavior can improve, and the "crazy" girlfriend thing can actually be a good thing? Yes.
The thing is, is that there should never be a time during a relationship when you feel so insecure that you have to check your boyfriend's location multiple times a day. There should never be a time when you call your partner multiple times because they haven't texted you back in a decent amount of time.
It is unnecessary for you to feel like you have to keep tabs on your boyfriend all the time, and it is also unnecessary for them to constantly reassure and baby you in return.
It is unnecessary for you to be in a relationship that you don't feel confident in. It is unnecessary for you to be in a relationship where you don't trust your partner.
It is time for you to stop letting lonely thoughts and insecurities give your boyfriend a personality he doesn't have.
He could be the sweetest man on earth, and all of a sudden late at night you begin to think the worst: He's cheating on me. He stopped loving me. He'd rather be somewhere else.
Sure, there is always a chance something is happening that you wouldn't want. But don't drive yourself crazy with hypothetical scenarios. Don't assume things happened with no evidence.
Instead, if you feel like something is going on or if you begin feeling insecure, bring it up with your partner.
Communication is just as important as trust. If you cannot bring up what is going on inside your mind and soul to your partner, then what is the point of being together?
It takes a lot of courage to be able to speak up about your feelings.
If they love you properly and want to make things work, they will go out of their way to actively listen to what you have to say and reassure you about the relationship and the problems at hand.
Don't drive yourself crazy by holding in your crazy.
Work the crazy out together.
You're A Queen And You Don't Have To Be Perfect To Be Amazing
Social likes and engagement rings don't make you a better person, liking yourself does.
I don't know about you folks, but I very often struggle with feelings of inadequacy. Not smart enough, pretty enough or whatever other human qualifiers I'm not enough of. Sure, self-loathing can be humbling, but it also makes you kind of hate yourself.
I'm constantly asking myself questions like: "Why don't you have a better job?" or "Why are you still not married?" or my personal favorite, "Why aren't you as pretty as that girl?" and my answers always end up with me telling myself the same thing: "Because you aren't good enough."
The saddest part of it all is that I know I'm not alone. We all struggle with feelings of inadequacy.
It's easy to identify all of the things you suck at and even easier to beat yourself up about them. For most of us in Western civilization, it's hard not to equate your value with how many likes and shares you receive, how many followers you have or worst of all, how you compare to those around you. Admit it, we all love to hate that girl from high school with the perfect life on Instagram and 10K followers.
But the funny thing about self-loathing? It makes everyone else loathe you too.
When I think of all of the people I've met that I can't stand, most of them had one thing in common: they didn't like themselves. When you think about that Instagram girl from high school, do you ever stop to think about why her life comes across so great and why everyone is drawn to her? Maybe it has something to do with her knowing what works for her and taking advantage of that knowledge.
I used to spend way too much time listening to that self-deprecating voice in my head. The "You aren't good enough" girl. So much so that I allowed it to swallow me whole.
What I realized though, was all of that negativity and self-doubt was projecting itself into the world around me.
So instead of wallowing in my sorrow and my 'woe is me' mentality, I decided to listen to the people around me. Those who knew me and loved me for exactly who I was. I began to look at myself through their eyes and realized how much time I wasted worrying about the good enough's.
Instead, my focus became what I was already enough of. Which turns out, was a lot.
I stopped comparing myself to others, I stopped getting jealous of people of the internet (let's face it, we all only show off the good stuff anyway) and most importantly, I stopped being so hard on myself.
I embraced that sure I'm not married, but I'm happy and in love. Sure I'm not as pretty as that girl, but I also have yet to give birth so my vagina has to be in better shape than hers. Sure I don't have a great job, but I'm not homeless and that fucking rocks.
I guess what I'm getting to here is that sure, life isn't perfect, but it's yours. Don't sulk and hate yourself, just have fun and love all of the good stuff going on. The world will notice.