1. Being outside the group is worse for you.
Beyond the fear of missing out is the love of being missed. There is no harm in socializing and taking part in the festivities but following the crowd all the time can be self-defeating. Developing who you are is a personal journey and it may take a village, but it only takes one person to discover who you are: yourself.
2. Being inside your head is a bad habit.
People who say you think too much do not sound like they do much thinking. Can thinking too much keep you from doing more? Sure, but can you ever think too much? Thinking more and more often is never a bad thing. Think twice, think thrice, think more than once. Being alone with your thoughts is one of the best ways to assess yourself and process your life.
3. You should act your age.
This is impossible. Since when do numbers behave a certain way? Have you ever met a devious thirty-two? How about a cowardly number eight? Acting your age is about as sensible as acting your street number. Acting right however is possible. You do not act like everyone else just because that is what is going on. You stay you regardless of how others see you or expect you to be.
4. People will like you if you do what they want.
Not everyone is going to like you. No one will like you just because you do what they want either. You are not interested in their self-interest and you do not need to explain yourself to people who do not see you for who you are. If someone does not like you, the reasons are not for you to dissect and understand. Forget the worry, and be the best you can be for people who care about you and the type of person you are.
5. You should do this or be more like so-and-so.
Anyone that suggests that you be a certain way or that you should be fitting into a cookie-cutter mold does not know how to be their own person. The intentions may have been good, but the unseen, unoriginal sameness is its own solipsistic hell. Everyone has a role, but your role does not have to be set in concrete. Suggestions are suggestions, actions are actions, and an individual is an individual. Thinking twice and outside the box is not only normal, but smart and beneficial for everyone and yourself.
Being someone you aren't does not look good on you. You looks good on you.
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20 Lessons I Learned Before I Turned 20
I have learned so much over these past 20 years, but I still have a long way to go.
Let's face it, turning 20 is a weird thing. You can drive at 16, you are a legal adult at 18 and you can drink at 21, so in the grand scheme of things, 20 is an insignificant age. However, when you turn 20, and that suffix of "teen" is no longer behind your age, it hits you. You're not a kid anymore. When you make mistakes at 20, people don't defend you anymore by saying, "Oh she's just young, she doesn't know any better." When you're 20, you are expected to have your shit together because you should have accumulated a vast amount of knowledge over these past 20 years, and let me tell you, that fucking sucks. But this is not a post of regret, this is a post of reflection. So please enjoy 20 years of lessons that I had no idea I was learning.
1. It's ok to make mistakes.
Hannah Montana said it best, "nobody's perfect." You're going to mess up so much in life, but you would never grow if you didn't make a mistake here and there.
2. Sometimes, you're going to be in the right, but when you are in the wrong, don't try to hide it or fight to prove your point. Just own that you were wrong and move on.
Being right 100% of the time is not only not natural, but not healthy. No one knows everything.
3. You have to fight for what you want, nothing is handed to you.
Working hard will get you so much further in life, so don't just sit around expecting good things to come your way.
4. Appreciate every day you have, whether good or bad.
You are still alive, you are still breathing. Those two things in and of themselves are the greatest blessings.
5. In bad situations, it's all about how you react.
You can make the best out of every situation, and nothing is ever past the point of fixing.
6. There's no weakness in asking for help.
If you try to take care of everything yourself, you will wind up exhausted and probably worse off then you were before. Asking for help is actually one the smartest and strongest things you can do.
7. Always be open to listening to other perspectives. Who knows, you could maybe learn something from them.
Every person you meet is going to have different experiences from you, so they must likely won't agree with you on everything. But just because they may not side with your point, doesn't mean you shouldn't listen to them.
8. When you are happy, don't look for reasons why you shouldn't be. Just be happy.
Don't keep looking for something bad coming around the corner, just enjoy being happy. Being comfortable in your happiness is one of the hardest things to do (trust me, I know), but it is so worth it in the end.
9. Take advice from those older than you, they do know a few things.
Whether it's your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, professors, or an old dude on the street, they have lived a lot more life than you, so they definitely have learned a few more lessons.
10. Life will throw curveballs at you, don't try to dodge them.
Curveballs and obstacles are a natural part of life, so don't try to dodge them, just handle them as they come at you.
11. Find something to be thankful for everyday.
Whether it is something trivial or major, there is always something out there to be thankful for.
12. If someone isn't treating you the way you deserve to be treated, leave them behind.
The sooner your recognize that you are being treated like shit, the sooner you can change things. Don't settle with being treated poorly, no one deserves that.
13. There is such a thing as luck, but it's not a given.
Luck comes to those deserving of it, so, basically, don't be an asshole.
14. Don't try to look like everybody else. Relish in what makes you unique.
If everybody looked and acted exactly the same, the world would be a pretty boring place. There's only one you in the world, so be awesome.
15. Having a few close friends is much better than having a lot of fake ones.
Your close friends will be there for you no matter what, so it is so essential to have those people who you know you could come to anytime, any day, anywhere.
16. Don't go looking for love, it will find you.
The age old saying, "Love will come when you least expect it" is so unbelievably true, so don't try to force it. If it's meant to be, it will be.
17. Do what you love, love what you do.
Find a job that makes you hop out of bed every morning, eager to face what the day will bring. You will be a whole lot happier in the long run.
18. Don't waste your time trying to get people to like you. The people who do like you will show it.
When you find people who truly love you for who you are, it all comes easily.
19. Trust your gut. You know when things are right and when they are wrong.
Intuition is a very powerful thing, so harness it. At the end of the day, no one knows you better than you know yourself.
20. I still have a lot to learn.
I cannot wait to see what more lessons the rest of my life will hold. Bring it on baby!