Male Gaze vs. Female Gaze: How Women Truly See Men
“Masculine and feminine roles are not biologically fixed but socially constructed.”— Judith Butler
This is a response to 'Tis the Season... Cuffing Season.
“Cuffing Season” can be the most thrilling and powerful feeling for some individuals, and depressing and irritable for many others. Depending on where you are in your life, being in or trying to be in a relationship involves time and energy. All of this is especially difficult on campus grounds.
In today’s day and age, where we as a society are consumed by “Hookup Culture”, it is difficult for individuals who are considered ‘hopeless romantics’, who have always yearned for that perfect relationship, to branch out and obtain it.
The first thing that establishes a relationship is how attractive someone is to another individual. Before a person can even get to know someone— their personality, interests, values, etc, it is all based on who they find attractive. When looking to be in a relationship, or just to be a part of “Hookup Culture”, there is something called the “male gaze” and “female gaze” that many individuals don’t even know exists.
I remember seeing a TikTok a while back and within the post it showed the Italian band Måneskin. The comments were flooded with craziness about one of the members Damiano David. I have never seen so many girls collectively come together and thirst over a man since Harry Styles was first introduced to the world.
And in fact, everyone compared Damiano David to Harry Styles, the feminine soft man that most girls are obsessed with today— including me. With this being said, there is a difference between what men think women find attractive, versus what women actually find attractive.
Now, for someone like me who is obsessed with Harry Styles, I've gotten some judgy comments from boys who ask me why I like him so much. They ask, “Why is he so hot to you? He doesn’t seem strong, and he wears a lot of girly outfits— he doesn’t even look or act like a real man.”
Women are conditioned to believe that the strong, masculine, manly men that are always there to protect women are the ideal guy— men who are quite the opposite to Harry Styles, who created controversy for wearing a dress on the December 2020 cover of Vogue.
No wonder so many younger men are confused at the hysteria from women drooling over men like Harry Styles, where women entirely ignore the “gym bros” to say, who all expect society to completely swoon over.
Women are looking for men who are open and honest about their feelings as well as not being afraid to seek emotional comfort. They’re looking for men whose masculinity is not threatened by femininity.
Once again, men find themselves scratching their heads— questioning women’s choices in men, while shrugging their shoulders at women and their needs, completely ignoring the fact that the male gaze might not be the same as the female gaze.
