Everything Has a Purpose, Even the Unplanned
When it comes down to it, sometimes being the loser is better than being the winner.
One year ago, I had a completely different idea of where I'd be right now. I pictured myself serving the Florida FFA Association as a State Officer, inspiring and motivating students and community members statewide through agricultural education just as past state officers had done for me. FFA impacted me in many ways that made me who I am today, so I worked harder to achieve my goal to give back than I had worked for anything in my entire life. Little did I know, God's plan was different than my own.
I remember spending countless hours preparing for the rigorous screening process, so when the day finally came I was more than ready. Equipped with my study materials, mom, mentors, and plenty of anxiety, I figured I was prepared when I arrived on screening day. What I wasn't prepared for was the magnitude of the friendships I made throughout the process. When it was announced that I had been selected as a candidate, I was overwhelmed with excitement that not only came from myself but also those I had grown so close to over our short time together. I was blessed with the affirmation that my work hadn't gone unnoticed in addition to relationships that will last a lifetime.
It didn't take long for me to realize that the time between being selected as a candidate and the election at state convention would be a difficult period for me. Although it was filled with thrilling events such as senior prom, chapter banquets, and graduation, it also contained some troubling situations. My dad's mom, my "Momsie," had been diagnosed with an aggressive form of ovarian cancer in September and despite her movingly uplifting outlook, it spread rapidly. I spent a lot of time chatting with her either at the hospital or her apartment during this interval, trying to find a balance between pursuing my aspiration and making the most of the time we had left. Even in the midst of this trying time, she pushed me to chase after my dreams with all that I had. Needless to say, that's what I did. Momsie passed away May 14th, eighteen days before state convention. I tried to compose myself as if everything was okay, even attending a banquet the night after her passing. I didn't want anyone to know that I was struggling, so I put on a smile and followed her advice.
At the state convention, each candidate gives a brief speech about themselves before thousands of corduroy jackets. Obviously, this would intimidate nearly anyone. I can vividly remember my prayer before this particular session, asking God to give me a sign that my Momsie was there with me. I anxiously walked into the convention hall, and immediately noticed that the song playing was Momsie's favorite. Any fear or worry I previously held on to vanished and I prepared myself for the matter at hand. Although she wasn't physically there, I then knew that I had gained a guardian angel and she would be with me always.
Although I didn't win the election, I can honestly say I wouldn't change my life for anything. I now know the amount of effort I'm capable of putting into something I'm passionate about, what my tendencies are when it comes to dealing with emotion, and that God blessed me with an angel to protect me. I still consider the people I met through FFA as close friends, but I've also been given the opportunity to make so many more where I am now. If everything had gone according to plan, I wouldn't have grown as an individual in the ways I now have. I'm beyond thankful that God has a purpose for my life, even if it's not what I thought it would be.
In loving memory of George J. Pavell Sr.
