Oh but they're weird, and they're wonderful!
An awkward date.
We've all been on one. While they might be agonizing to endure, they soon become the fun stories to gossip about at sleepovers and the age-old legends to retell for years to come.
5. You've got a friend in me... and my moped.
By the time I was entering my freshman year of high school, I had never been kissed. All my other friends had kissed a boy, some two or three, and I felt severely behind and clueless in the relationship department. Over the summer, I started "dating" Sean, one of my close guy friends who was expected to get to play varsity basketball as a freshman (When you're from a small town, this is a big deal.).
He came over for the first time, and we sat on my couch and watched Toy Story 2 (with the door open, of course). After two hours of handholding and nervous conversation, I walked Sean to his moped in my driveway. My 6 foot 5 puppy-love crush climbed onto his moped, and we kissed for the very first and only time--short and sweet--and he drove away at an impressive 20 mph.
I soon found out two things: One, my mom was watching from the window, and two, I was not ready to have a boyfriend. Kissing was too scary for me.
4. Until death do us part.
My senior year of high school, I had a fling with Michael. We knew things wouldn't last because I'd soon be moving away for college, but we still tried to make the most of our time together. One summer day, we decided to take a road trip and explore the area surrounding my future college. We visited an outdoor museum, a record store, and bakery. It was cute, fun, and seemed like your average date--until it wasn't.
He ended up taking me to a cemetery, telling me about how it was a national landmark, contained the tallest point in the city, and that there were multiple presidents and a well-known author laid to rest there forever. We took a Polaroid picture at the top of a hill and threw pennies on a grave to pay our respects and hope for good luck.
As eerie as it was, I guess I'd rather go on a date with a gravedigger than a gold digger.
3. Forget your hair, Rapunzel. I'm already at your window.
A few months before Michael and I went graveyard grazing, we got in a pretty big fight about whatever it is high schoolers fight about. I wrote him a letter explaining my feelings at the time, but other than that we barely spoke for a few weeks. One night, at about 2:30 a.m., I woke up to my phone ringing and his name flashing across the screen. I answered groggily, to which he responded, "Open your window."
I sat up, looked outside, and saw Michael hanging on for dear life. I realized he climbed from the ground, to the deck, to the pergola, to the roof, to my second-floor window.
I opened the window and said, "What in the world are you doing?"
He delivered me a rose and a letter, apologizing for the miscommunication and arguments between us. Even though I almost had a heart attack and he almost fell off my roof, this romantic gesture made me feel so special, almost like we were the only two people in the world.
That is, until the next day when my dad asked, "Did you go outside last night? I swear I thought I heard someone on our deck."
2. The creepy creekside.
In my small, Midwestern hometown, restaurants close at 10, the bowling alley shut down, and the local movie theater went out of business before I started kindergarten. Because of this, kids get creative when it comes to night-time adventures. After my first year of college, I returned to the quiet, slow-paced town I call home and invited my boyfriend Jake, who lived about 45 minutes away, to a local creek.
I wanted to seem spontaneous and interesting, so we drove to the creek in the moonlight, pushed past the tall weeds, ignored the big white signs that warned "NO TRESPASSING" in red letters, and headed toward the water. I waded in to waist-level water then turned around and told Jake to follow my lead. He started toward me for about three strides, heard the sound of a bullfrog in the distance, jerked his body in the opposite direction, and returned safely to shore.
After deciding maybe there's a reason public access ends at dusk, we let our night by the creekside fall by the wayside. Instead, we opted for ice cream and spent the next few hours under the stars talking about life.
1. Whee, whee, pee all the way home.
Out of all my whacky dates, this one might just take the cake. I just finished my junior year of high school, and I was heading toward senior year with great expectations. Somehow, I started texting Anthony, a boy from a neighboring town that I met a few years before.
We went on a few dates, including breakfast at a local diner and a pizza picnic at the park. He was cute and sweet, but after a recent breakup, I just wasn't ready to jump back into the relationship scene. It truly was the best of times and it was the worst of times--but I guess that's how it goes in most tales of two cities.
One evening, we occupied our time by driving through the countryside, listening to music and talking about anything that came to mind. Eventually, he informed me he had to pee like the dickens. I figured he'd drive the five minutes it took to get in town, but instead, he pulled over on the side of the road, walked right into the cornfields, and relieved himself.
I didn't know what to do or how to act, so I just tried to keep my eyes straight ahead the entire time he was outside of the car. To this day, I still chuckle to myself every time I think about that evening...and I have him to thank for being un-phased every time one of my guy friends has to take a leak behind a nearby tree.
Overall, I've had some pretty weird and some pretty fun experiences in dating. Whenever I'm tempted to say my life is dull, it's the stories like these that remind me to bite my tongue.