Healing hurts but it's necessary to move on.
I just want to make it clear, that I by no means am or plan to a poet. I have only written one other poem my entire life. But to keep myself from going off and hurting myself mentally, emotionally, and physically after a break up, I started to read, (and reread) my poetry books. I wanted to vent, but I didn't want to write long Facebook status or share every sad post. I didn't even want to tell anyone. Although, I knew I needed to turn my hurt, pain and confusion into something healthy and healing. I started to write an article but I couldn't get the words out, unless they were in short pieces. So I tried, to with a poem.
I want to change how you made me feel
I want to numb all the pain and hurt
that you left me to deal with
but how can I do that?
How can I numb the pain,
when I'm already numb?
I feel nothing at all
and at the same time
I feel everything at once
I'm like a walking corpse
begging for life again
And I would anything to get it
but nothing at the same time
How can one thing so simple
make me feel completely empty
and so full of pain and confusion
I've never been left more confused
and so full of self hate
I've never felt this type of sadness
I was verging on depression again
But I slowly realized that I'll be okay
because I can see what you truly want
and what I truly need
And while my heart was with you
I learned why it should be with me
and I know I'll be more okay than ever