18 Lies Your Black Parents Probably Told You As A Kid
To this day, I still think they're real but whatever...
We all had parents tell us a couple lies here and there. Sadly, these lies stuck to us as kids and I wouldn't be surprised if some of you still believe your parents to this day. However, black parents are on a whole different level of these untold lies. We all know that black parents are notorious for their famous phrases, which is the reason why a lot of us had similar childhoods growing up. Here are some of the famous lies black parents have probably told you as a child:
1. "Let me hold your money for you so you won't lose it."
Yup, and you'll NEVER see it again. If your mom or dad has't done this to you, then ask yourself why you gave your mom the $100 birthday money and she comes home with a fresh blow out. To this day, I still don't know where that $100 went.
2. "We have food at home."
Girl no we don't. This is the biggest disappointment every black kid faced. Wheat bread with a hot dog is NOT McDonald's, that's "McStruggle." If you said no to the McStruggle, then "I guess that means you ain't hungry." I can't wait until I get older and ask my mom if she has "McDonald's money." However, the older I get, the more I understand the fact that I have food at home...you know, being broke and all.
3. It's "illegal" to have the light on in the car at night.
I still make sure the lights are off to this day. I haven't gotten pulled over yet so that's saying something. Maybe my mom was actually ri---never mind.
4. If you run in and out the house too much, the bill will go up.
In what way does this make sense? In a black home, you're either IN or you're OUT! Black parents will blame the AC, light bill, water bill or simply just "being on your damn phone too much."
5. If you tell the truth, you won't get in trouble...yeah okay.
When I'm honest, I still get in trouble and when I lie, forget it. At the end of the day, your mom doesn't want to hear it. She's too busy picking out her favorite slipper or belt to whoop you with. Even if you pretend to go to sleep, she will wake you up just to “talk.”
6. If you make a certain face for too long, your face will be stuck like that forever.
I used to be so scared of making an ugly face or it would magically get stuck forever. I've also been told that I have a permanent resting-bitch-face, so I'm assuming that this one is true.
7. If you eat watermelon seeds, a tree will grow in your stomach.
Too bad my science teacher never taught me about germination in the stomach. But as a kid, pooping was your best option to make sure you were in the clear.
8. If you lie, your nose will grow.
Now imagine how long your ex’s nose would be?
9. Babies came straight from God (I mean....LITERALLY dropped from the sky).
I mean sure, if you have faith in God, then yes this is partially true. But does God literally throw babies from the sky into your mom's lap? I hope not because that would hurt. Just stick to the "when two people love each other very much" lie.
10. "It's because you've been on that damn phone too much."
How does this correlate with anything? Did anyone find the answer? Oh yeah, because it makes the bills go up right?
11. Purposely eating all of your Halloween candy because they wanted to make sure that it was "safe."
See, you would think after the 26th piece of candy that the whole bag is safe but no. Notice how your mom is ONLY testing out the Snickers bars.
12. Santa is real (This one hurt too).
This one really hurt. Imagine waiting for Santa to arrive but then you remember your grandparents don't even have a chimney in their house. Not only that, it's painful to know that the cookies you made every year were eaten by your mom and dad at 4AM...This one hit hard.
13. Showering during a thunderstorm is dangerous
Black parents only say that so their water bill won't go up....NEXT.
14. You can't go swimming for 30 minutes after eating.
I always thought this was true. But then again, my mom said that you will sink to the bottom if you ate right before. I guess the reason for this lie is so you don't blow chunks in the pool and embarrass your mom...or maybe just to do chores in the house.
I think this is a lie that ALL parents tell.
15. If you peed in the pool, it turns into a special color that everyone can see.
This is a great a lie. Who wants to swim through a blob of someone else's urine? However, running to the bathroom to take off your wet bathing suit just to put it back on was frustrating.
16. "You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up."
Kid: "Okay, I'll be an artist!"
Mom: "Actually, no that's not what I meant. I meant choose between doctor, lawyer or engineer."
17. Having a nose ring turns you into a "rebel."
I'm pretty sure this is how my mom thinks I look when I put in my fake nose ring. (There's nothing wrong with this look though.)
18. "I'm 5 minutes away (from being 2 hours away)!"
Don't even bother. You're going to be sitting outside of your school until it's pitch black. (I will never forget when my mom told me that she was on the highway but I heard the metro north train sounds in the background...shame.)
The Influential And Promising Messages From Taylor Swift's 'reputation' Album
How she has helped through the most difficult time in my life.
Taylor Swift has been known in the past year to have a lot of negative life events from her sexual assault court case, losing lots of friends and surrounded by playboys as described in her "reputation" album, and recently receiving backlash for announcing a political endorsement for Democratic candidates in her home state of Tennessee. Through these mishaps, Taylor reminded us again that she is not only a star but just an ordinary person.
Distracted by the whirlwind of college applications and broken friendships, it wasn't until the middle of my senior year of high school that I started listening to her new reputation album. As I started listening, there were some of the concepts I didn't understand until a couple months after my life had fallen into shambles beyond my control. I then realized the magnitude of similar things Taylor and I had gone through and how listening to the reputation album helped me get through the hardest times in my life. It taught me lots of life lessons I will never forget.
1. Play the Game
"The Game Of Life" on Flickr
Life is all about playing the game, hence "The Game Of Life." Have a plan for anything that comes your way.
2. People will be intimidated of you constantly
It seems easier than ever for people to be intimidated or perceived by others as threatening. Therefore, people will do and say anything to hurt you, exclude you, and seem superior. This intimidation can prevent you from making meaningful relationships by your self-identity such as, what you wear or how put-together you look. In return, this can make some people jealous and make condescending comments that try to lower your confidence. In high school, I felt people were always intimidated of me by the nice clothes that I wore to school or driving a nice car. This wasn't imagined, it was noticeable. I come from a middle-class family, who is now split and has to take out loans to pay for my college. I want people to know there is much more than what you see on the outside. Since going to college, I haven't been stereotyped as the rich girl or put on a pedestal for that title and it has been one of the most relieving experiences. I feel like an ordinary person and the result is really great.
3. It's OK to be yourself with a squished reputation
Currently, as a society that has chosen profit over morality, people feel like they shouldn't have feelings. For example, people gossiping about others to an extreme point where people are afraid to be themselves, toxic relationships, and a consistent worry about what people are saying about others. You are allowed to be yourself and have feelings no matter how bad life gets. For me, it was going to therapy to get over several bitchy choir girls that attempted to spread false rumors about me to my entire high school, which made my senior year unbearable. Too many changes and negative experiences in my life came too soon and I didn't know what to do. Find support where none is given and don't be ashamed to get help from a therapist.
4. Just because someone hurt you, doesn't mean you have to hit back twice as hard
You may have heard this once before, but it's the little things that make a difference. That doesn't necessarily matter but could make a difference in forming your opinion. Decide what is worth acting on and the tough comments you have to swallow or move on. Everything isn't a competition or a power struggle. Two wrongs don't make a right. It is important to always be the bigger person.
5. Be done with playboys
Khoman Room x Rahkeem photo by Khoman Room (@khomanroom) on Unsplashunsplash.com
It's a phrase ladies have heard time and time again, but this time I mean it indefinitely. In high school, I was always a playboys focus of coping homework, being cheated off of, or texting, Snapchatting or calling at the last hour. Playboys are toxic because they never take you seriously and always manipulate. Personally, I've encountered enough manipulative people in my life where I don't have time to wait until the last second to reply to something. After I lost all of my friends my senior year of high school, I began talking to a guy I added on Snapchat one day. One thing led to another and we began FaceTiming every night. I slowly realized I was being manipulated by him asking what I was wearing and everything about what I was doing. At the time, my confidence was at an all-time low and I finally gained enough to cut off all ties with the guy. I blocked his number and on all my social media accounts. Now that I'm in college, life moves fast, and developing deep, meaningful relationships are important to me. There is nothing deep and meaningful about playboys. Know your self-worth.
6. Toxic people are done
Street, mask, creative and man HD photo by Dmitry Ratushny (@ratushny) on Unsplashunsplash.com
The best songs on the reputation album that describe this point are, "So It Goes…" and "Getaway Car." Time's up for toxic people. People stay so long in toxic relationships because they think it will get better, and it never does. Life is too short to indefinitely with people that hurt you because you think that no one else will help you or be willing to make new friends. I shouldn't have stayed with a couple of my friends that kept excluding me from gatherings out of the blue. I shouldn't have kept talking to that one guy that insisted on knowing every detail about me life. I shouldn't have kept talking to that guy that insisted I sit on his lap in my high school physics class. I shouldn't have kept talking to that guy that put a condom on my desk and said that I should have sex with another guy in my high school physics class. In all of these cases, I should have left earlier, thinking that these people would be better than the other toxic people I ran into. Once you decide to all-time, you cut all ties. There's too much that we tolerate to make ourselves think that we are winning the game, when really its all about civility and respect. We all deserve more.
7. Continue to search for genuine, nice, and respectful people
This is easier said than done. Continue to search for genuine, nice, and respectful people. If we don't keep searching, we will feel that we have failed in making relationships. We must continue and make an effort towards people when all we may see are our own problems. I assure you there are nice people in this world, even though you may feel that everyone has failed you. We must be resilient.
8. We all need to care less about what others say about us
Taylor Swift's song, "Call it What You Want" relates to this point. In a nation full of ethical and unethical commentary, perceptions and opinions, it may seem hard not to care what others are saying about you constantly. However, when developing personal relationships, we expect people to talk about us a little at the least. But when this talk becomes gossipy and dangerously negative, we are forced to care a lot about what is being said. For example, I used to care a lot being said about me until I realized it was up to other people if they believed what was said.
I hope Taylor Swift's music has helped heal others and has created a more positive generation of role models. For these reasons, she will always be my spirit animal.