What's So Wrong With the F-Word?

What's So Wrong With the F-Word?

Just so we are clear, the word is feminist.

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I walk around my campus proudly with pins all over my backpack. Most of them reading empowering statements. "Feminist AF," "Girl Gang" and "Pro-choice, Pro-pugs, Pro-Pizza" (my personal favorite). I wear them because they are fun, because they reflect my values and because girls are strong as hell.

I ALWAYS end up getting THAT comment. The one from a boy looking to make a joke to degrade women, yeah I know, hilarious. "You must hate men, right?" Only the misogynistic, uninformed ones!! For some reason, there is this stigma that surrounds the simple idea of girls supporting girls. What's wrong with that?

I decide to call myself a feminist not because I'm into an institution full of men-hating, obnoxious and over-sensitive women because that's definitely not what feminism is about. It is a movement of individuals that believe women and men should be treated equally. That's it. It is not as radical as people make it out to be. The stigma that surrounds the word itself makes people scared to label themselves a feminist.

Part of the way feminism is viewed has to do with the way it has evolved. To many young girls, it has become a trend that they like to advertise across their Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter hoping to gain the followers of the "girl gang." This is an awesome way to promote self-love, and confidence in women but at the same time, it stigmatizes feminism even more, making it seen as a "trend." This evolution of the term in no way lessens the fact that a woman earns 80.5 cents for every dollar a man earns. Or that one in five women will be raped at some point in their lives. And, it absolutely does not validate demeaning comments towards women. What many heedless men that mindlessly spew comments are ignorant to is how much harder it is for women in this world than they think.

They will never get the feeling I get when I walk outside as passing men holler degrading comments out their car window.

Or when my mom gives me pepper spray to "defend myself" when I travel to New York City alone.

When I screenshot my male Uber driver's information and send it to my parents, just in case.

When I pretend to be on the phone with someone to avoid a staring man from approaching.

When I pick out the right outfit that is cute but doesn't make me look too "slutty."

Thinking that I have to say "sorry" even after a minor inconvenience.

Saying "no" and being labeled "prude."

Of course, I know being a man is not a walk in the park and both men and women have their own struggles. I am trying to diminish the stigma around feminism as I am sick and tired of living my life in fear of walking alone. In fear of being judged. In fear of the capability of a man. I don't want to be the one to enforce the stereotype that all guys have malicious intent towards girls because that is not the case at all. I want to believe that guys like my brother will do the right thing when necessary. I want to bring my future daughters into a world where they could just be girls.

Yeah, girl power is cool but what is even cooler is universal respect for everyone!

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Sincerely, The Girl Who Dreams Of Having The Corner Office And A Family

Last time I checked, I'm capable of simultaneously running the world and a household.

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This story requires us to fast forward 15 years in the future and to use our imagination a little.

The year is 2034 and I wake up every morning beside my loving husband in our beautiful house in the suburbs just in time to make breakfast together for our children before they sleepily come down the steps into the kitchen. I clean my kitchen and make sure all of the morning chore's are completed before we get our children ready for school. I kiss my husband goodbye as he leaves for his job in the city and I get the kids into the car to take them to school. After dropping them off at school, I head off to work at my high powered job.

I arrive at work prepared for a day full of meetings with people who don't have any time to waste and know much more than I ever will know. I 'm introduced to people who have titles much higher than mine and people who may never be bothered enough to remember my mine. I have a packed schedule but I'm doing what I love most and what I always dreamed of doing with my life. I will smile as I look out of my corner office knowing I have worked my a** off to get where I am and that I deserve everything that I have earned in life.

The clock reads 5:00 pm and I say goodbye to everyone in the office as I hurry to my car because my day is far from over. I have a PTA meeting to run at 5:30 pm and then one of my kids has a soccer game at 6:30 pm. After that, we go get ice cream to spoil our dinner and celebrate, win or lose and then finally head home where I cook dinner for my family. I will finally be able to rest after my husband and I put the kids to bed, but I will be smiling because I know that I have worked my a** off to have my family which I'm so proud of.

Now back to the future, where I find myself being told that it's almost impossible to be able to have the best of both worlds. I'm told that I have to pick one or the other, or if I don't then I have to expect to not be very involved in my future children's lives. Or I'm told that I won't be able to be at the top of my field.

My dream is to be at the top of my career and to have the typical 9-5 filled with meetings and the occasional days where I have to stay late at the office. I also want to live the typical soccer mom life where I'm President of the PTA and at every single soccer game and recital for my future kids. I know that these two dreams don't mix well because of the time that both require in order to be successful at both, but I'm not one to back down from a challenge.

I and other women that have similar aspirations are capable of doing both if we choose so we shouldn't constantly be told that we can't. We know we can have the best of both worlds one day and we can't wait. See ya in 15 years when I'm President of the PTA and at the top of my field.

Love,

The Girl Who Dreams of Having The Corner Office and a Family

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As A Woman, I Don't Think Men Are Swimming In A Pool Of Privilege, We Need International Men’s Day

Men are our providers and protectors.

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Most of you have probably heard about International Women's Day with Snapchat filters, Google Doodles, and "the day without women" started by the Women's March, but have you ever heard about a holiday where the accomplishments of men are celebrated? Such a holiday is in existence and it's called International Men's Day.

International Men's Day was started by Thomas Oaster and was enacted on February 7th, 1992, with the intentions of the promotion of gender equality, highlighting male role models, and focusing on the health and wellbeing of men and boys. Despite what you hear from leftist academia and media, men and boys aren't swimming in a pool of privilege and still face hardships in life. Many of you heard about the phrase "toxic masculinity," which is the concept of how a traditional male should behave based on society's expectations. The most common solution to this problem of "toxic masculinity" is to get rid of it, but that is of no help.

This concept of "toxic masculinity" starts as early as grade school, with boys getting harsher punishments than their female counterparts. Why is this the case though? According to the book, "Reaching Boys, Teaching Boys: Strategies That Work and Why," boys are far more likely than girls to get expelled from preschool, get diagnosed for learning disorders and attention problems, and are less likely to do homework. This type of observance plays a role in the teacher's grading criteria which is more biased toward behavior than academics.

Schools have to realize that boys and girls aren't the same when it comes to learning. Girls are more interested in fiction, magazines, and poetry while boys are more interested in comics and nonfiction. School libraries should be more supplied with this type of literature, says Keith J. Topping, a professor at the University of Dundee in Scotland says.

This devaluing of masculinity continues on into higher education, with young men enrolling at college at a much lower rate. There is also a notion that "rape culture" is running rampant on college campuses which have led to the hostility of these young men attending their respective institutions. The same young men are brought before a campus judiciary committee, who were educated by this thought of "rape culture," and are named openly while being charged with rape, despite the lack of corroboration. In some cases, due process is nonexistent and if found guilty can lead to a life-long smear of lies.

When it comes to proving this heinous crime, there are often two sides of the story, Side A and Side B. It can be possible that one or both of the sides can be deceptive toward authorities and these same authorities, in some cases, have to depend on word of mouth due to the lack of physical evidence.

This idea of "toxic masculinity" is a method used by third wave radical feminists to undermine the hardships that men and boys often experience. If a man has no masculinity, then he will not stop the man that is wicked and has too much masculinity. You can't remove the aggression, violence, and ambition from the male psyche if you tried. If harnessed properly it can lead to war and tyranny ending, building businesses and economies, and family and community support.

Men are our providers and protectors, and we need to acknowledge this day that celebrates what our husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons, go through on a daily basis and the much more difficult adversities they have to endure. So the next time when you underestimate a man's worth, remember that he has feelings of his own and that he's ready to put his life on the line to protect you and the people you care about. Happy International Men's Day.

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