I was watching "Spongebob Squarepants" the other day, the episode when Mr. Krabs uses Spongebob’s jellyfishing skills as a ploy to increase supply of his popular new product, "the jelly patty.” As I watched him proudly ride his stationary bike to energize his inhumane jellyfish factory, I thought, “Wow, this greedy crab would love Wake Forest's business school.
So, why not come up with a specific "Spongebob" character for each college major?
[Please do not take offense to these comparisons, for they are drawn merely for comedic purpose. I have friends who study a bunch of different majors, and I believe the stereotypes surrounding them are based on artificial crap and word of mouth that spin out of control.
Anyone who says finance majors are stuck up probably doesn’t have good friends in the business school, and anyone who says a communication major is inherently easy is probably not a communication major.
I thought I’d highlight the insensitivity, ignorance and close-mindedness that exist in the minds of those who believe in that crap in a funny way.]
Accounting – Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs loves money. His catch phrase is “money, money, money.” In one episode, he forces Spongebob and Squidward to join him on an escapade for his “millionth dollar.”
Watch as he uses an “ordinary dollar” to wipe his butt.
Economics – Plankton
He’s always just a step below Mr. Krabs from the eyes of the customer, but still works just as hard.
Music/Dance – Squidward.
Squidward loves everything artistic, from practicing clarinet to entering himself in talent shows where he performs interpretive dance moves that only he understands.
Philosophy – Patrick
You might think he’s dumb at first sight, but this guy has come up with some of the most introspective ideas in the history of the show, such as the true meaning of wumbo.
Religion – The Flying Dutchman.
He’s a ghost, so he’s as spiritual as they come on this show.
English – Narrator
The way he says, “ahhhh,” and “7 hours latah,” in that (French?) accent sounds like the voice that would put me to sleep reading "David Copperfield" or "Moby Dick."
HES – Larry the Lobster
This jacked lobster loves being healthy.
Psychology – Gary
This snail always knows what’s up. You can just tell by his nonchalant expressions and by the way his “meow” tone changes, that he sees past everyone’s bullish*t.
Political Science – Man Ray
Every successful politician has an evil villain in him somewhere.
In this scene, Spongebob and Patrick try to teach Man Ray to be nice.
History – Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy
Who knows more about history than old, washed-up superheroes?
Computer Science – Karen
She’s a computer who lives in a restaurant that looks like a lab. And she’s married to an econ major -- that’s probably happened once or twice at Wake.
In this scene, Karen makes fun of Plankton's real name, Sheldon.
Physics – Mrs. Puff
She’s a boat-driving instructor who probably knows a thing or two about car mechanics. She could be an engineering major too if Wake had that.
Pre-Med – Sandy
Sandy is a genius who can handle anything science or math based. She originally traveled to Bikini Bottom to study sea creatures and their lifestyles, she built her own rocket, took a jet pack to the moon and invented a submarine that can shrink to microscopic size and go inside a person's body.
BEM – Pirate Head Painting
"Spongebob Squarepants" is his show, his buisness – he controls everything.
It’s his story. He knows who lives in a pineapple under the sea, and he’s hear to explain it to us each week. And you kind of forget his job exists until he pops up and reminds you of what he does.
Finance – Squilliam
This guy loves being rich and powerful.
In this clip, he tells random fish about his trip in his private yacht across his private lake to his private heliport.
Communication/Journalism - Pearl
She’s daddy’s little girl. She’s like, not really sure yet what she wants to do, but literally loves “P.RRRRRRR.”
Theater - Spongebob
If there’s one word to describe one of the most iconic cartoon characters in television history it would be animated. Spongebob experiences just about every emotion in each episode.
Sometimes he cries so hard that tears fly out of his eyes and create a lake, and sometimes he laughs until his tongue jumps out of his mouth and starts laughing with him.
The kid would make a hell of an actor.