For a long time, I have found it hard to find friends. Most of the time I felt like I was second best, or even third or fourth. I was never anyone's favorite person. I still feel that way sometimes, but I handle it better now.
As a result of feeling this, I would try my best to fit in and hide behind all my insecurities. I always felt like there was something wrong with me and I would continue to try and change so that I could fit in better. Nothing really seemed to work. I was the one that was left out or was given a pity invite. As time went on, I soon found people who accepted me for me and I knew that they wanted and enjoyed my company. I wasn't afraid to be myself around them. This allowed me to be able to find who I really am and not who I pretended to be for so many years.
It is an exciting time trying to figure out who you are. I didn't even know what "knowing who you are" even meant for a long time. There are probably millions of answers. It is a complicated concept. There could be no end to what you could know. You could go into so much detail. You can learn new things about yourself every day. Once you become comfortable with who you are it will open so many doors. Your life will change drastically because you know more about yourself and you are not trying to change in order to fit in.
There are people out there who spend their whole life unhappy with who they are. But I say, why spend time being unhappy? Just be yourself. It's not your job to be likable. It's your job to be yourself. The right people will gravitate. It might take a while to find those people, but they will come. You may have to go through different people to find them as well. Despite what some people may think, this is a good thing. This allows you to learn through experience. Some of the best ways to learn is by doing. There will always be people in life that will try to tear you down and attempt to change who you are. Unfortunately, most people won't even notice it happening. It is important to stay true to who you are and stay clear of those that want to change you.
My life has been changed for the better since figuring out more about myself and the people I hang out with. The saying "you are who you hang out with" is extremely accurate. I have seen many friends who become totally different people once they start hanging out with certain people. This can be either a good thing or a bad thing. It depends on a person's perspective.
I say to take caution when deciding who you hang out with. Make sure that they are people who love you for who you are rather than trying to change you. To quote the wise words of Selena Gomez, "when it comes to me I wouldn't want to be anyone else".
