Yeah, yeah, yeah I know I'm "behind on the times" since the "Star Wars" trailer came out last week (October 19, to be exact). But I have a good reason!
I was in a coma.
No really. My body was sent into a midi-chlorian-induced coma after seeing the final trailer for the seventh episode of the world's greatest movie saga ...
Behind "Toy Story," "Star Wars" would have been first but "Toy Story" never once thought it would be a good idea to create a prequel series with WEIRD UNDERWATER TOYS WHO DO NOTHING BUT MAKE THE SITUATION WORSE.
Damn it, George.
Since the world is forever changed, I decided to go out around campus and ask people just how drastically people's lives were changed with the release of the "Star Wars Episode VII" trailer.
Kelsi: *stands on table in the Student Union* STAR WAAAAARS!!!!
Everyone in the Union: *awkward silence, continues watching*
Kelsi: They've probably been too busy studying for midterms to see it. They'll learn soon enough.
Kelsi: Professor, what did you think of the new "Star Wars" trailer?????
Professor: Sit down, you're interrupting the class.
Kelsi: Oh I'm not enrolled in this course, I just kinda ran in here.
Professor: Please leave my class.
Kelsi: Too beautiful for words. Couldn't agree more.
Kelsi: Excuse me, what do you think of the new "Star Wars" trailer released last week?
Dude Wearing Chubbies: There was a new "Star Wars" trailer? Dope.
Kelsi: How dare you.
Dude Wearing Chubbies: What?
K: How DARE you. This isn't just some movie ad you watch for 5 seconds before you skip to your video on YouTube. This is "STAR WARS EPISODE SEVEN" YOU UNCULTURED, UNDIGNIFIED PIECE OF GARBA-
DWC: Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you??? *abruptly leaves*
K: Huh. That was kind of rude. Probably just late to class.
Kelsi: *holding a phone, crying*
Random Passerby: Woah are you okay?
Kelsi: *blubbering* "ST-ST-ST-ST-ST-ST-STARRRRRR W-W-W-WAAAAAARRSSSSSSS."
Random Passerby: I-I'm sorry. Did ... you say "Star Wars?"
Kelsi: *unnatural sounds*
Random Passerby: Okay. Yeah. I'm gonna go.
Kelsi: Please. Tell me I'm not crazy, that I'm not the only one. What did you think of the new "Star Wars" trailer? What did it make you feel?
Fellow Nerdy Friend: A new hope.
Fellow Nerdy Friend: "Lord of the Rings" is better though.
Kelsi: OKAY LISTEN.
As you can see, everyone is either very excited or dead to me.
The faster December 17 gets here, the better.