The Politics Of Motherhood

The Politics Of Motherhood

Why having a child and abstaining from one both make you a lousy person.
6
views

We live in a society where motherhood is the expectation of every woman, but she's insane if she thinks that her baby is the important part of motherhood. Get real, ladies.

Women who don't want children and instead just want to be sterilized are cycled through various therapists and doctors and clinics, for years, until finally they've proven that no, really, they don't want kids. Relatives at every Christmas dinner balk, "You'll meet the right person one day and then have a bunch of kids, I know it!" Regardless of whether you're already in a committed relationship. Something is wrong with you if you don't want children. Evolutionarily, you should want to mix your exceptional genome with another exceptional genome. You should want to make a tiny slightly-more-evolved fleshling, and wrap it into the blanket your grandma made when you were 5 because she knew you were going to have a girl, not a boy. Think about grandma's blanket and take one for the team.

And then there are the women who actually do want to have kids. In fact, it's a glowing prospect for them. They salivate at the thought of helping child #1 with reading homework while child #2 puts gum in child #3's hair. They're the first people in the history of Facebook to not be annoyed at seeing this on their feed, "New Parent added 47 new photos to their album BUNDLE OF JOY <3. Caption: She bit a Cheeto for the first time guys here's the entire play by play LOL baby is just like daddy!!!"

But when they actually live their dream of having kids and being a stay-at-home mom for the benefit of the kids...that's anti-feminist. Don't you know women had to earn the right to work? How dare you squander that and offer your child 24/7 attention?

Your friends won't treat you the same either, because they won't like the way your child cries while they're trying to tell you about hooking up with Steamy McLeatherPants at the bar. You give your child more attention than you give them. The baby can barely poop on its own because it doesn't like any of the baby formulas that are in aisle 25 and 26 of Wal-Mart. You know. You've tried all of them. But they expect you to dote on them whenever their single expensive-makeup-wearing face pops in the door like a princess in her palace. They don't like it when you don't revel in their magnificence.

Every time you go to the baby aisle for colic drops, ibuprofen suspensions, teething gels, diaper ointments, and baby wipes, something isn't right. Right there in the middle of the organic baby lotions and the baby shampoo. It's a discreetly placed display of Palmer's Stretch Mark Cream, to remind you that even though you brought life into this world, your body doesn't look the same as it used to. You just wanted to buy things for the tiny human thing sitting in the basket playing with something it picked up from a shelf when you put the cart too close. You don't notice until it's bitten and deformed, because you were reminded that motherhood, in a retail store, is about your body as much as it is a healthy child.

And God forbid you breast-feed when the child is hungry. You're just a single mom looking for attention because you haven't gotten laid in a while. Cover that child's face even though it's probably really hot under the blanket. Nobody wants to see a flash of boob that makes men think of that one time they took a woman home and she wanted to roleplay as his mom. My husband just got out of therapy for that, Tracy. Your child can wait!

Having kids or not having kids apparently both make you weird and gross, so do whatever makes you happy. If kids throwing up on your favorite pajama shirt is your thing, embrace it. Because I'd die if I was ever forced to go within 10 feet of an infant. And that's OK.



Popular Right Now

An Open Letter to the Person Who Still Uses the "R Word"

Your negative associations are slowly poisoning the true meaning of an incredibly beautiful, exclusive word.
164111
views

What do you mean you didn't “mean it like that?" You said it.

People don't say things just for the hell of it. It has one definition. Merriam-Webster defines it as, "To be less advanced in mental, physical or social development than is usual for one's age."

So, when you were “retarded drunk" this past weekend, as you claim, were you diagnosed with a physical or mental disability?

When you called your friend “retarded," did you realize that you were actually falsely labeling them as handicapped?

Don't correct yourself with words like “stupid," “dumb," or “ignorant." when I call you out. Sharpen your vocabulary a little more and broaden your horizons, because I promise you that if people with disabilities could banish that word forever, they would.

Especially when people associate it with drunks, bad decisions, idiotic statements, their enemies and other meaningless issues. Oh trust me, they are way more than that.

I'm not quite sure if you have had your eyes opened as to what a disabled person is capable of, but let me go ahead and lay it out there for you. My best friend has Down Syndrome, and when I tell people that their initial reaction is, “Oh that is so nice of you! You are so selfless to hang out with her."

Well, thanks for the compliment, but she is a person. A living, breathing, normal girl who has feelings, friends, thousands of abilities, knowledge, and compassion out the wazoo.

She listens better than anyone I know, she gets more excited to see me than anyone I know, and she works harder at her hobbies, school, work, and sports than anyone I know. She attends a private school, is a member of the swim team, has won multiple events in the Special Olympics, is in the school choir, and could quite possibly be the most popular girl at her school!

So yes, I would love to take your compliment, but please realize that most people who are labeled as “disabled" are actually more “able" than normal people. I hang out with her because she is one of the people who has so effortlessly taught me simplicity, gratitude, strength, faith, passion, love, genuine happiness and so much more.

Speaking for the people who cannot defend themselves: choose a new word.

The trend has gone out of style, just like smoking cigarettes or not wearing your seat belt. It is poisonous, it is ignorant, and it is low class.

As I explained above, most people with disabilities are actually more capable than a normal human because of their advantageous ways of making peoples' days and unknowingly changing lives. Hang out with a handicapped person, even if it is just for a day. I can one hundred percent guarantee you will bite your tongue next time you go to use the term out of context.

Hopefully you at least think of my friend, who in my book is a hero, a champion and an overcomer. Don't use the “R Word". You are way too good for that. Stand up and correct someone today.

Cover Image Credit: Kaitlin Murray

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

First-Generation Kids of Brown Parents Are Bridging the Gap Between 'Traditional' and 'Modern'

Speaking as a first-generation child of Indian parents, it's going to be a rough and rocky road for us all.

163
views

I didn't realize or think about what it would be like being the first generation in my entire lineage to live in a country other than India. It just never occurred to me that this was a bigger deal than I thought it was. Yes, I would be living on the opposite side of the world than most my family members, such as my grandparents. But growing up in this country with parents that grew up in India, this is more than just a geographical distance between my family members and I.

My parents left India and came to the United States to ensure that their children (my brother and I) would have more opportunities and live a better life. That kind of transition is definitely not easy because they had to abandon their home, their language, their family, and their country to come to a completely foreign land. It required a lot of struggle, sacrifices and a hell of a lot of courage to do this. And I am forever grateful.

But in a way, this is going to be a way more difficult path for my brother and me, along with any other first-generation children of Indian parents. Not in the sense that we will have to uproot our lives to move across the world, but we will have to face a lot of societal and traditional issues. Right now, it seems as if we don't necessarily belong anywhere. We are different from the other people our age whose families immigrated to the U.S. hundreds of years ago. But we are also different from our parents because they cannot relate to us and we cannot relate to them.

While our parents grew up in a land where things are done a certain way and traditional rules must be followed, it is a little different for us. Growing up in a "melting pot" country where there is diversity of race, religion, and thoughts and ideas, we are constantly exposed to new things.

We were always given the freedom to think and say what we believed and wanted. We have a lot more room for expression than our parents or grandparents ever did. But even though our parents came to this country and were exposed to these thoughts, they stuck with the beliefs they always grew up with because it is a part of their identity. For us, it's a little different because we grew up and surrounded ourselves with all kinds of new people and thoughts.

As amazing and expressive it feels to have this freedom, it also makes it more difficult for first-generation kids because we are going to have to stand up to tradition and introduce these new ideas to not only our parents to all of society. These ideas include dating and love marriages, the extent of religious beliefs and our own faith in God, how to raise kids, distribution of responsibilities in a family where both the husband and wife work, etc.

Our families have done things a certain way for generations and generations, and for the first time, this is going to be disrupted. There is going to be a change in tradition, a revolution. And it's going to be us first-generation children of Indian families that are going to have to bridge the gap between "traditional" and "modern." It's going to be a difficult road, but in the end, it will be worth it because our future kids will have a more open-minded family and society to be a part of.

Related Content

Facebook Comments