I Care, And I Fear You Don’t Understand What That Means
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I Care, And I Fear You Don’t Understand What That Means

If I care, I will always come back.

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I Care, And I Fear You Don’t Understand What That Means
Christine Saint

This poem is about long distance relationships, studying abroad, traveling, or just being away from the people you care about. Whether you're the one away or the one being left behind, take a deep breath and know that I still care.

I titled this poem before I started it because I want to make sure I get one thing across….I care.

And I fear you don’t understand what that means. How much it seems to affect what’s negative and positive and neutral, all based on how you view my actions.

Just know,

I care and when I care…

I care forever. I make it a part of my everyday routine. It becomes a feeling connected to your name or a place or a smell or a history.

Caring becomes more of an instinct than a choice at that point.

So when I say I care…

I mean it. And I wouldn’t dare try to act like I don’t.

So the question is… Do you, on the other side of this, feel that? Even when I can’t be there to label that

as me caring? Even when I disappear and don’t call back? I swear, I will always come back.

If I care…

I will always come back.

But I can’t get mad if you pay more attention to what I lack. The missing pieces that don’t add up- how can I care and not show up? Letting me go…because from one view, that’s fucked up.

When something bad, exciting, or just straight up emotional happens you no longer see me as having worthy enough compassion.

Which is strange…but

I deserve indecisiveness. I will accept distrust. because when I think about it… who wants to feel like their friend can’t keep a simple promise and avoid the lust

of others

that want me to care

for them

just as much.

You want me to always be there. like a star in the night sky. staying in the same place so when you want to look up, you will see I’m still there. which means I still care?

But from another view...my view…you want too much from me.

And you don’t understand my connection to the world and why I’m meant to be

here.

I can’t live my life caring for only you…there’s a whole world asking me to do

the same thing

and I refuse to make this a thing where I have to choose because that’s the best for the situation.

Let me sit you in on my life…

That’s not the best outcome, in fact, nothing substantial comes out of me caring for you the way you want me to.

Understand me.

Understand…everyone is worthy...of my attention.

And I care for you just as much as the next person.

- Christine Saint

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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