6 Phases Of The Modern Break-Up
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

6 Phases Of The Modern Break-Up

9
6 Phases Of The Modern Break-Up

When my first real relationship was ending and my first real heartbreak was occurring, I asked my mom if she had ever gone through something similar. “Yes,” she replied, “I asked him to meet me somewhere, I broke up with him, and I never saw him again. It was really hard.”

How crazy is that?! Sounds real rough, Mom. That just does NOT happen anymore, and we all know it. It’s too easy to get in touch with people, which makes breaking up for good the first time almost impossible. Society has made it extremely acceptable to simply get back together with your ex (unofficially, of course) for about 48 hours just to have the whole thing blow up again. You ended for a reason. It’s unhealthy, people! But the reality is that it’s gonna happen, and there are certain unavoidable phases that occur.

Phase 1: The cry-to-all-of-your-roommates phase.

You guys break up. You rush back to your apartment (or worse, it’s an over the phone break up and they all have to hear it). You cry to all of your roommates, and convince them all to hate him just as much as you do in that very moment. Except, for you, these feelings of hatred go away in about 12 hours as it turns to sadness, and you start missing him. As for your roommates… they continue hating.

Phase 2: The I'm-going-out-and-getting-drunk-so-I-have-an-excuse-to-call phase.

You tell your friends you wanna go out. They take you. You are very devious, for WE ALL KNOW it is all just an excuse to “drunk” call him. He comes and picks you up from the bar because you say you need him to, which brings us to the next phase…

Phase 3: The we-are-going-to-be-friends-with-benefits phase.

I have played this game before. It is impossible. Stop. Just stop. You absolutely cannot, I repeat, CANNOT be just friends with someone that you have loved and are probably still in love with. If it’s not you that gets hurt, it’s going to be him. Or worse, both of you.

Phase 4: The omg-he-hooked-up-with-some-b*tch phase.

DUH. He can do whatever he wants, he is technically single. And don’t pretend like you didn’t make out with the guy from Psychology class last weekend! You guys aren’t dating, you aren’t exclusive, and it’s messy. Once this phase occurs, the friends with benefits phase has ended (unless you want an STD), and you’re actually upset now.

Phase 5: The it’s-really-over-I-can’t-believe-it phase.

This phase is the worst. You didn’t want to believe it for months (or in my case, years), but now you know that it’s not going to work. I don’t remember where I read this, but it was the best advice I have ever read… Text him and tell him not to take it personally, but you need to get over him and block him from everything. Proceed to block his number, unfriend him from Facebook (and EVERY other social media outlet.. that includes Snapchat) and know that you can always become friends again once seeing a picture of him and another girl doesn’t make your heart break in half.

Phase 6: The I'm-ready-to-be-in-another-relationship phase.

Obviously the best phase. Find a better guy, vow to make the (possible) break up with him much more simple, and enjoy. The most fun part of a relationship is the beginning.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

103638
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

44616
​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Unleash Inspiration: 15 Relatable Disney Lyrics!

Leave it to Disney to write lyrics that kids of all ages can relate to.

78475
The 15 most inspiring Disney songs

Disney songs are some of the most relatable and inspiring songs not only because of the lovable characters who sing them, but also because of their well-written song lyrics. While some lyrics make more sense with knowledge of the movie's story line that they were written for, other Disney lyrics are very relatable and inspiring for any listener.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments